Surprise Meeting
by lryuzakilawliet25
Summary: He was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, a pair of shoes on the ground at his feet. His bare toes were wriggling against each other as stared off, obviously deep in thought. I stopped dead in my tracks and watched him.
1. Author's Note

Authors Note

This is my first real try at a fanfiction. As you would know if you read my bio, I am in love with L Lawliet. And I wanted to give a romantic fanfic with him a try.

I just want to explain that L is sort of an OC in this. I of course, kept his personaltity the way it was originally created as bet as I could. But I wouldn't be able to write him in my own style if I had to worry about keeping everything takeshi obata created the same. So there are some minor differences.

The idea for my story was for L to fall in love. And yes, in this story, he falls in love with a woman before he even meets her. But I just thought that, if L is so abnormal, and does everything differently than a normal person would. Than he wouldn't fall in love in the way you would expect. He would do it differently. Here he sees a woman, learns everything about her, falls in love with her, than meets her. Rather than how a normal person would see a woman, meet her, learn things about her, then be in love with her. He's L, he's not going to things the way you would expect.

And yes, I understand that in this story, he changes some things about himself. For instance, he'll hold out his hand to the gril, or smile warmly at her. But I think, than when your in love with someone, you change yourself willingly, if only slightly. So L acts different around Ami (the girl) than he would anyone else.

I also, did not bring in many aspects of the kira investigation, not until the very end. I didn't want to, as this was meant to be a romance fanfic, not a drama or thriller.

Rate and review this please! I'd love to have all of your opinions on my writing! 3 :D


	2. Chapter 1

I saw him when I was twenty-one.

He was sitting in his own way, on a bench at To-Oh University. I was late for my philosophy class, not that I was too worried about that. I only took the class to fill some of the three hour gap between organic and inorganic chemistry. But as I was walking as fast as I dared across the break between the science building and the building that housed philosophy class, I saw him.

He was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, a pair of shoes on the ground at his feet. His bare toes were wriggling against each other as he stared off, obviously deep in thought. I stopped dead in my tracks and watched him as he slowly traced his thumb across his lips, licking off the crumbs left over from the bite he had taken of the doughnut in his other hand.

I was mesmerized. I'd never seen anyone like him before. His long black hair was styled in a casual messy way, and his clothes were very basic. A baggy pair of jeans and a long sleeve white t-shirt. His eyes were rimmed in black shadows, making him look as if he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in years. But somehow, his entire appearance captured me. He was so beautiful, and my mouth instantly dried at even the thought of walking up and talking to him. I'd never been very good at talking to guys I liked, and had never had very many boyfriends throughout my life. I had preferred to concentrate on my studies, which is what got me the scholarship to this school.

I continued to stand frozen on the pavement, just staring at him, no longer thinking about philosophy class. I watched as he stared at the sky, blinking far less than I thought possible for a human being. His index finger now rested limply against his teeth as he slowly nibbled on the nail. His eyes were scanning the sky, and then moved to the area around him. Slowly he scanned the area to his right moving his head in time with his eyes.

Until they landed on me.

A normal person would've flinched slightly, at being caught staring at someone. They would've then let their eyes quickly wander to something else in an entirely different direction; to try and make the person that caught them think that their eyes meeting was merely a coincidence. But I wasn't really a normal person. I'd never seemed to fit in right with the other kids. I had a small set of close friends, with a very large circle of people that I knew surrounding us. Those were the ones that thought they were my friends. But none of them really knew me, not even the ones I actually considered friends. I was never very social, I didn't want to go to the parties of the popular kids to drink and smoke. I'd never seen the point. I hadn't wanted to flirt with all the boys I knew, and then hook up with three or four of them at someone's house on the weekend. I was just me, which wasn't what most people considered to be normal.

Which is why when his eyes met mine, my eyes refused to budge. They refused to stop admiring his beautiful features. To stop watching his finger as it dangled from between his teeth, held by only the short nail that he had captured there. My eyes were glued to him, and before I could even comprehend what was going on.

He was walking towards me.

He had wedged his feet into his shoes chaotically, and his back hunched greatly while he walked. As if he had an invisible burden that was weighing down his shoulders. His hands were jammed deeply into the pockets of his jeans, and he had his head turned up at a sharp angle to compensate for the slant that his back created. His eyes stayed connected to mine the entire way from his bench until he was merely a few feet away from me. His eyes stared deeply into mine, and I began to wonder what exactly he was looking for. My heart was racing, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to speak if he created a conversation.

He said nothing for the first few minutes. He seemed to be analyzing everything about me. He reached out his hand, overcoming the few feet that separated us, and held his palm out to me. My eyes questioned him, wondering what his motive might be. But as I stared at him, I felt a deep sensation of trust for the man in front of me. So slowly, I placed my hand in his, and followed his lead to the coffee shop across the busy street.

I guess I'd be missing philosophy class that day after all.

He guided me to a booth near the back, letting my hand fall from his as we both chose to sit across from each other. A waitress was quick to reach us, her eyes widened slightly at the way he was sitting, but she brought out her notepad to take our orders.

"Hi, my name is Kimiko, what can I get you two today?" she asked us politely. And before I could open my mouth, he opened his.

"She'll have an upside down caramel cappuccino, and I'll just have a coffee thank you." He said slowly, barely placing any emotion in the words he seemed not to speak, but to recite. His eyes never left mine, and I saw a smile slowly form on the face of the waitress as she jumped to the conclusion that he and I were together. I didn't think to correct her, as I myself was confused at that moment.

"How did you know that's my favorite way to have coffee?" I asked timidly as the waitress walked away to fix our drinks. I silently congratulated myself on being able to talk coherently to this mystery of a man.

He studied me for a moment, as if trying to judge what he should tell me. I wondered to myself what kind of secrets he kept hidden from the world as he prepared to answer my question.

"A lucky guess I suppose." He smiled slightly at me as the waitress returned with our drinks.

She placed the tall mugs on the table in front of us, and I picked mine up slowly. Wary about spilling anything in front of someone like him, who seemed to note everything that happened around him and store it for later reference in what must be a remarkable mind. I closed my eyes and took a sip, smiling warmly as the sweet candy-like coffee slipped over my tongue and down my throat.

As I opened my eyes, I saw that the table was littered with sugar packets as the man in front of me smiled tenderly as he stared at me, his hand poised over another pack of sugar. He let his eyes flitter back to the packet in question as he tore it open and spilled its entire contents into his cup. I watched as he did this over and over again, until his drink was no longer coffee, but the sweet grainy substance moistened with coffee.

I wondered to myself why I had never tried that, I'm sure a normal person would find it disgusting. But to me it looked like an intriguing new experience. I puzzled over whether or not I might like it as I slowly sipped my coffee, waiting for it to cool down before I dared to take a larger drink.

I realized in the middle of my puzzling that he had been staring at me for some time as he drank his very sugary coffee. I looked at him, and felt the heat of blush rise to my cheeks at his gentle smile. I watched as his eyes blinked once for every five of mine. And yes I actually counted this. It seemed like we were the only two people in the coffee shop. Although I knew this wasn't true, we were surrounded my people. But it was if our booth was somewhere that no one but us could penetrate during those moments.

His eyes seemed to be studying me again. As if every time he spoke to me he had to judge what exactly he was able to speak aloud, and what would have to stay concealed. Finally, after several minutes, he seemed to have decided what he would like to say.

"Hello, my name is Rue Ryuzaki." He said quietly in his own way. Staring at me the entire time as if to judge my reaction.

"Hello Rue Ryuzaki. My name is Ami Miyamoto." I said with a smile as I rolled his name over my tongue, testing how it felt to say out loud.

His eyes seemed to smile as his lips moved up into the same expression, "Hello Ami. If you wouldn't mind, I would very much like to see you again tomorrow."

I smiled in agreement, having a feeling that I would no longer be going to philosophy class at all this year.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note**_

_**This is just a warning to the fact that this chapter is actually only chapter one, but in L's point of view. I won't be doing this with every chapter, but there may be a few more throughout the story that are written like this. If you don't want to read this chapter over again, in a slightly different form, then skip along to chapter three once I post it. **_

_**Oh and also, for those who may get it messed up, Ami's name is pronounced Ah-Me, not like Amy.**_

She was on her way to philosophy class.

I knew her entire schedule, off by heart. Had known it for quite some time. Ever since I saw her that day at To-Oh's opening ceremony while I was walking off the stage with Light. Of course, at that moment, I was a little too preoccupied with paying attention to my Kira suspect to really notice her. But thanks to my gifted memory, I was able to go over everything that had happened while I had been with Light that day, once I had returned to headquarters. With this ability, I was able to see things I hadn't noticed the first time around. And who should show up in my left field of vision as my foot hit the third step from the bottom?

Ami Miyamoto.

I'd never seen another woman so beautiful. Just the sight of her made me feel things, things I never thought I'd experience in my life. Actual emotions hit me like a brick wall, and adjusting to them was still something that seemed beyond my range of skills.

I was not what a human being would classify as "normal", not at all. I never spoke with emotion, and that aspect of my communication would actually get worse when I was angered. I walked with a hunch for many reasons, and constantly needed a sweet flavor in my mouth for the same reasons. Not to mention the fact that the brains' source of energy, just happens to be sugar. So I only really ate sweets.

I never sat without my knees pulled up to my chest, like an infant in the fetal position. I had to sit like that; it heightens my deductive reasoning by about forty percent. And when you're in my line of work, your deductive reasoning is pretty much all you have.

I always wear the same thing, every day. A pair of baggy jeans and a long sleeved white t-shirt. They were comforting to me, and had become a habit of mine many years ago. The thought of trying to break myself of that habit seemed like an act of self-treachery. I had a secret closet at headquarters filled with an even amount of hanger's. One half holding the jeans, the other half holding the shirts, hidden behind a false panel in the wall. It's not that I needed to hide my clothes, I just found the use of hidden panels enjoyable.

The way I held things, it was if everything I touched repulsed me in a way. I used only the very tips of my thumbs and index fingers to limply grasp things. And I had bags under my eyes that were so black, they practically looked like they'd been drawn on with a sharpie, and gave me the appearance of never having slept, ever.

Not that this was really a lie. I hardly ever slept. My line of work required one's brain to be able to handle stress and a large lack of sleep, yet still be able function far better than that of a normal human being's. I was not normal; I was just me, which was not what most people considered to be normal.

She was actually late for philosophy class. But I knew she wouldn't care. She only took the class to fill a three hour gap that came with wanting to take both organic and inorganic chemistry in the same term. She, like me, wasn't exactly normal either, although I'd bet anything I had her beat when it came to peculiarities. She never seemed to fit in with the other children, and had always seemed more mature than everyone her age. The people she considered her friends barely knew her at all and the people who considered themselves her friends had barely registered on her radar as she matriculated.

At that moment, she stopped suddenly and stared off in my direction. She no doubt thought that I didn't know she was watching me. So I continued to let her think that while I gazed at the sky, letting my thumb wander across my lips to catch the crumbs of the doughnut I'd been eating. So many questions were running through my mind. How does Kira kill his victims? No, how does Light Yagami kill his victims? Is a shinigami really involved, or are all of my speculations actually, for once, wrong? And if so, what do I do then? We have no other suspects who match Kira's profile. I know that Light is Kira, but how do I bring him to justice? I have no proof, no one believes me. For the first time in my life, I am lost when it comes to what to do.

I slipped my index finger's nail in between my teeth, and began to nibble gently while I let the finger dangle limply. I let my gaze wander down from the sky and to my right. Slowly allowing my head to follow the course my eyes were taking, scanning the area around me.

Until my eyes landed on her.

She didn't flinch at being caught staring at me, a normal person generally would have. But not her, she was different. She had her own way of doing things. Her eyes seemed to refuse the idea of moving from mine, and mine hers. She was so incredibly beautiful, with jet black shoulder length hair that she straightened with a passion every morning. Even though it blow dried virtually straight to begin with. Her bangs fell over her eyes when she wanted them to and flat against her forehead when she preferred. Her eyes, greyish-blue and outlined in black, could pierce you from a mile away, and make you question whether your thoughts were appropriate for others to see. Her skin, so flawless and pale, would make other girls squeal in envy if she cared enough about those things to listen as she passed them. Everything about her made me practically quiver with the amount of emotions that I felt when I laid my eyes on her. She was astonishing. And I loved her.

Her eyes were still glued to mine, and before she knew what was going on, I had crammed my sockless feet into my shoes, pulled myself off the bench, and had begun my abnormal way of walking towards her. Her eyes glimmered slightly with interest at my way of moving. I could practically hear the question as it buzzed around her mind. What burden must he carry to hunch like that every time he walks?

If only she knew the reason why. Someday perhaps, but not now. She needn't know those things about me now.

I joined my eyes to hers as I made the journey from my bench to where she was standing, smelling the sweet scent of her perfume waft through the wind my movements created. I delved deeply into her striking eyes, looking for the answers to the questions that my research hadn't been able to provide. In mere moments I was but feet from her, staring up into her eyes from my peculiar position.

I said nothing for the first few moments, preferring to analyze everything I could about her. To store it for later reference, should any of it provide useful. Overcoming the few feet that separated us, I held my palm out towards her. Her eyes seemed wary of me at first, understandable, as she did not know who I was. But soon, a deep feeling of trust smothered the look of caution in her eyes, and she placed her hand in mine.

She wouldn't be making it to philosophy class that day after all it seemed.

I guided her towards the small coffee shop just across the busy street of Japan. I led her quickly to a booth near the back, and with a deep sense of regret, I let her hand fall from mine as we chose to sit opposite each other.

A waitress was quick to reach us through the crowds of the popular restaurant. Her eyes widened slightly at the position I had chosen to sit in, but she took out her notepad to take our orders choosing, thankfully, not to comment on my odd sitting habits.

"Hi, my name is Kimiko, what can I get you two today?" she asked us politely. And before Ami could open her mouth, I opened mine.

"She'll have an upside down caramel cappuccino, and I'll just have a coffee thank you." I said, letting another one of my peculiarities surface to her. I barley placed any emotion into the words that I seemed not to speak, but to recite. My eyes never left hers, and both her and I saw the smile creep onto the face of the waitress as she jumped to the conclusion that we were together. I chose not correct her, as Ami's eyes looked confused, and her mouth was slowly sliding down into a frown.

"How do you know that's my favorite way to have coffee?" she asked me timidly, as the waitress walked away to fix our drinks. I saw a small glint light up her eyes for a reason I could not understand.

I studied her for a moment, judging what I should tell her and what she would better off not knowing at the moment. Deciding whether it would be a good idea for her to know about my profession right then. About how I can control armies around the world, make them do my will when it comes to defending justice. About how I can find information about not only her, but every person on the planet. Information about themselves that even they don't know. Perhaps she should know about my past, the things I've done. The countless people that I was unable to save, the children that have had to die because I didn't find all of the answers in time.

"A lucky guess I suppose." I smiled slightly at her, as the waitress returned with our drinks. She didn't need to know about all of that yet. No need to burden her with a stranger's secrets.

She placed the tall mugs on the table in front of us, and Ami picked hers up slowly, as if wary about spilling something in my presence. She closed her eyes as she took her first sip of the candy-like coffee, smiling warmly as the first trickles of it trailed their way down her throat.

While she was enjoying her coffee, I had been preparing mine for consumption. The table was littered with sugar packets in seconds, and I still wasn't done. But as I poised my hand over yet another package, I saw her smiling with her eyes shut. And I couldn't help but smile tenderly at the sight of her in such a serene pose.

She opened her eyes, and caught sight of the many white packets on the table while I let my eyes flitter back to the packet in my hand. I continued to pour in sugar packets until there were none left in the tables little container to add, and my coffee was no longer coffee. But a sweet grainy substance moistened with coffee. Not really a sludge like material, but close enough to that viscosity that it could just pass as a smoothie. I lifted the cup to my lips and took a large drink, letting my eyes dart back to her.

She was staring off towards the ceiling, obviously deep in thought about something, as she had a puzzled look on her face. I wondered to myself what it could be for, and then decided it must be my odd eating habits. How often to you see someone order coffee, only to put what must be three cups of sugar into it, if not more? And yet, she did not look disgusted, in fact she looked slightly intrigued at the idea, I smiled gently at the thought that she, besides Watari, didn't seem to find me that peculiar like so many people had.

She pulled herself back to earth when she realized how long she had been deep in thought, and how long I had been watching her. I smiled inside as I saw the redness of her cheeks as she blushed in slight embarrassment, and I watched as her eyes blinked five times for my one. It seemed like we were the only two people in the coffee shop. Although I knew this wasn't true, we were surrounded by people. But it was as if our booth was somewhere that no one but us could penetrate during those moments.

I began to study her again, realizing that every time I wished to speak to her I had to choose what I was able to say aloud and what had to remain concealed from her. After several minutes, I had decided what I wanted to say.

"Hello, my name is Rue Ryuzaki." I said quietly, in my strange way of speaking, staring at her the entire time to judge her reactions.

"Hello Rue Ryuzaki. My name is Ami Miyamoto." She said with a smile that made my entire being light up with delight. Oh how I wish I could understand these new emotions.

I felt my eyes begin a smile that my lips had to run to catch up with, "Hello Ami. If you wouldn't mind, I would very much like to see you again tomorrow."

She smiled in agreement, and I had a feeling that she would no longer be attending her philosophy classes this year.

_**Hey this is lryuzakilawliet25! I just have a couple of shout outs that I really want to put in here, since this is my first published fanfiction, I've never had any of these things happen before. So let's get on to the shout outs!**_

_**Number 1 to kuromajin13 for being the first person ever to add a story of mine to their story alert subscription! Thank you kuromajin13! :D**_

_**Number 2 to **__**Watergirl1105 for being the first person to ever add a story of mine to their favorites list! Thank you Watergirl1105! :D**_

_**Number 3 to KiyUzumaki for being the first person to ever add ME to their favorite authors list! Thank you KiyUzumaki! :D**_

_**And finally, number 4, once again goes to Watergirl1105 for being my first ever reviewer! Watergirl1105, I've already sent you a PM message about this. For being my first ever reviewer, I'm going to name a character after you in my story! Just contact me with your full name, and I'll get right on it! If you'd rather not have your name in my story, that's cool, I'll understand. But thank you again!**_

_**Anyway, thank you to Watergirl1105, KiyUzumaki, and kuromajin13! :D **_


	4. Chapter 3

I was standing in exactly the same spot I had been yesterday, when I first met Ryuzaki. Yet again I was staring off towards the bench where, yesterday, he had sat and chosen that he had wanted to take a random girl out for coffee. We had barely spoken again after learning each other's names, each of us choosing to simply stare at the other while finishing our coffee.

Before I knew it, Ryuzaki was looking down at his watch, letting a small frown slide onto his face, before smothering it with another smile when he looked back at me.

"You're late for inorganic Ami." He had said, and I had practically felt his wave of regret wash over me when he realized I would have to leave. I hadn't thought at that moment to question how he knew that, not only did I have a class right then, but how he knew which class it was I had.

I had jumped both for not wanting to be late for my class, and for realizing that him and I had been at that coffee shop for practically three hours, just staring at each other. When I could've sworn it had only been mere minutes that I had spent admiring him. I had blushed red while grabbing for my bag, reaching my hand inside to pull out money to pay for my drink. But before I could, I had felt the coolness of his skin as his hand touched mine, stopping my search for yen.

I had looked up, to see him smiling down at me while he placed enough yen on the table to pay for both our drinks, and no doubt the entire restaurants as well. He had pulled me out of the seat, and led me past the beaming waitress, out the door. Steering me across the street, he had guided me to the science building, his hand clasping mine the entire way there.

I had been guessing that he would leave me when we reached the door to enter the building itself. But he had opened it for me like a gentleman, and had followed me inside grasping my hand again to lead me to the fourth floor. I could feel the stares that we received, the entire way, from the people we passed. They had looked first at Ryuzaki, letting their eyes widen slightly at his odd posture, and then had flitted their range of vision to me. Some of them knew me, and had opened their mouths to question about the strange man. But Ryuzaki had continued to lead me to my classroom, not giving me enough time to even shoot the inquisitive people a look that could've melted their insides. Something I had wanted to do greatly, for I had known what they had been about to say.

"Who the hell is that Ami?" the guy in the blue shirt would've said with a tone of superiority. He had been trying to ask me out for a little while now, but I wasn't into the immature frat boy type. I would've told him how he had no business asking me who I chose to spend my time with. But Ryuzaki had led me past the opening, pulling me towards my classroom and away from the rest of the intrusive and insensitive people.

He had been right; I was late for my inorganic class. And when we reached the door I could see the vibrant green eyes of my closest friend, Catherine Stone staring at me and Ryuzaki with a questioning look. She was an exchange student from America, and she seemed to be the only person I knew who seemed okay with my quietness. But I knew I'd have to deal with her later, would have to answer her barrage of questions once we moved onto this class's lab, but I pushed that out of my mind for the time being. Choosing to instead to look back at Ryuzaki, who was still holding my hand tightly in his, and was looking at the door to my classroom with a pang of regret flooding his eyes.

I had felt the chill of his skin on mine as we both prepared to let go, and I had loosened my fingers slightly to prepare. But he had only tightened his grip more, staring up at me with an air of desperation smoldering in his eyes. I could feel the surge of his emotions flood over to me, and I had not wanted to let go either. But I knew I had no choice. I couldn't miss this class, not if I wanted to pass. And I could tell that he knew that just as much as I did. So in the end, he had relented, and both of us had loosened our grips on each other, while Ryuzaki moved towards me. He had adjusted his posture to reach my cheek, and I had realized he was actually taller than me.

He had kissed me gently, and sweetly, and I had felt as his breath swept itself over my cheek as he sighed in content.

"Same time tomorrow, Ami?" he had whispered into my ear, while moving his hand towards the doorknob to allow me inside.

I had nodded in agreement, and had permitted him to open the door for me again, while I pulled the rest of my fingers from his.

"Goodbye, Ryuzaki." I had said quietly, knowing that he, and only him, would be able to hear me. I had smiled, as he returned to his original stance, unable to keep my lips from moving upwards.

"Goodbye, Ami." He had said gently. And I had seen his eyes fade slightly as he turned around to walk away. I had stayed where I was, and had listened to his feet as they slid across the linoleum floor. I had watched him as he walked towards the stairs, where he stopped for a moment and turned his head to look behind his shoulder at me. He had smiled sweetly back at me, and had let his eyes close for a moment longer than necessary for a blink. I had known that it meant that he was silently saying goodbye, and had returned the gesture, letting the corners of my lips move upwards to return his smile as well. I had continued to watch him as he walked down the stairs, and had felt myself unable to wait until tomorrow. I had wanted to run towards him, to let him take me back to our booth at the coffee shop. But the little voice in the back of my head had told me to go back towards the classroom, so I had listened, and had walked into class and had waved Catherine's questions away for that moment.

But now, I was standing and staring at where he had been yesterday. I was a little early for when he had decided to meet. But I hadn't been able to wait any longer than necessary to see him. I had been jittery all through inorganic yesterday, and Catherine had tried to question me during the lab, but I had ignored her. Wanting Ryuzaki to be my little secret for just that day.

This morning I had flitted around my apartment, caring more about appearance than usual. I had woken up even earlier than normal to pick out the perfect outfit, but had ended up wearing what I normally would have, since I hadn't been able to decide on what Ryuzaki would like.

But I had curled my hair, something I'd never done before. I suppose it didn't look too awful. I'd seen Catherine do it once, and had just followed what she had done. I would've liked to straighten it, I preferred being able to run my hands through my hair, but I wanted to impress Ryuzaki. I wanted to look different for once, I wanted to look pretty.

Maybe I should go wait on the bench for him? Or was that too forward? Hundreds of questions were spinning around my mind, when I felt a sensation of coolness slip into my hand. Looking to my right, I saw him standing there, staring up at me with a tender smile on his face, and a glint in his eyes.

"Hello, Ami." He said in his odd way of speaking. I returned his smile, and both of us tightened our grips on the other's hand.

"Hello Ryuzaki." I saw his smile slip, for only a second, before it returned. And I wondered what it had been for. But he began to steer me towards our coffee shop again, so I let the thought slip from my mind.

His hand guided me to our booth in the back, and I could practically feel the waitress's beaming smile on the back of my head.

Ryuzaki let my hand drop from of his, and we both took up our spots again as the waitress walked towards us with a tray in her hands.

"Hello again you two." She said as she set down an upside down caramel cappuccino in front of me, and a tall mug of just coffee in front of Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki's eyes never moved from mine while he spoke, "Thank you Kimiko." He said, while smiling warmly at me and moving his hands towards the sugar packet container.

Kimiko beamed down at us, and skipped away towards the next table while I continued to hold my eyes to Ryuzaki's. I studied his features again, finding them impossible to ever get tired of looking at. I watched his hands as he poured sugar into his coffee. I watched him as he watched me, his hands having a mind of their own as they continued with their mission.

I sipped at my coffee, sighing in content at the sweet flavor that washed over my tongue. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, feeling Ryuzaki smile at me, even from behind my closed lids.

"Why do you always close your eyes when you drink your coffee Ami?" he asked with a tone of curiosity, but a smile in his words.

I opened my eyes, and had the feeling that he'd been staring at me the entire time I had them closed, I felt my cheeks redden, but I answered his question with an even tone.

"I don't really know, I guess I only do it with this type of coffee. Maybe it's because it tastes so sweet, kind of like candy. I suppose it just relaxes me to drink it, and closing my eyes while I do just seems appropriate." I said quietly, because he'd probably think me odd for doing so.

He looked up in thought for a moment, "Quite understandable actually, I find that I do the same thing when I eat some of my favorite things as well." He said with a quiet smile, and my eyes beamed back at him in response.

We continued that way for the rest of our time together that day. He asked me numerous questions about myself, and I answered to the best of my ability. I realized at the end of the day, that I'd never had the chance to ask him a single question about himself. But the way he talked to me, it seemed that he had an actual interest in what I had to say. None of my previous boyfriends seemed to care enough about me to learn more than my favorite color. But there was something different about him. He had his own way of doing things.

Like the previous day, he walked me to my next class, his hand never dropping mine the entire way there.

Upon reaching the door to the classroom, he adjusted his posture again, and caressed my cheek with his free hand and his eyes and mine seemed to be glued to one another.

"If you don't mind Ami, I'd like to try something." He said, as he moved his hand behind my neck, letting my hair fall over his fingers as he leaned down. I could feel his breath, sweet and soft, as it blew against my lips. He hesitated for a moment, to judge whether I was against what he was about to do. So when I closed my eyes, and moved my free hand to run it through his hair, he pressed his lips to mine.

I felt shivers run down my spine as my lips moved in time with his, and I felt the smoothness of his hair against my fingers. I could feel our clasped hands tighten as our fingers intertwined while his other hand played with my hair.

He broke the contact between our lips, and moved closer to my ear, "Your hair looks very beautiful today by the way." He said as he moved his free hand to my cheek again, running his hand down my face, letting the chill of his skin sink into mine.

He pulled back for a minute to look into my eyes, and I felt a smile one my lips. He leaned down again, but this time only to brush his lips against my cheek.

"Same time tomorrow, Ami?" he asked, and I had a feeling that this would become a habit between us.

"Mmhm." I said in agreement, while pulling his lips back to mine for only a moment, in a short but very, very sweet kiss. I felt his hand let go of mine and move to the small of my back, and heard a small moan escape the back of his throat.

"You're going to be late Ami." He said as he pulled his lips back from mine slightly, letting his breath slide over my face for a second time. I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me as he removed his hand from my hair and back.

"I don't care." I breathed quietly, and I heard him chuckle at the statement.

"Yes you do Ami," he said with another chuckle escaping his throat as he pulled away yet again, "I'll see you tomorrow." He said in a calm, monotone voice, but with a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. I watched him as he returned to his normal posture, and as he left to make his way to the stairs, like he did yesterday. I saw him as he turned his head to close his eyes in another silent goodbye, and I returned the gesture with a smile.

He turned the corner, and I felt a flutter in my stomach. And I realized something else at the end of the day.

I realized, I loved him.

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><p><em><strong>I wasn't too sure about this chapter...I dunno if it worked out well. But I hope you guys like it. <strong>_

_**Warning, I don't think this is going to be a very long story, but I've decided to do the majority of the chapters in both Ami and L's point of view. I like the way you can read both of their inner thoughts. Plus L is just fun to write, since I have to give him my own style, but I can't change his personality too much. :D**_


	5. Chapter 4

She was standing in exactly the same spot she had been yesterday, when we first met. Yet again, she was staring off towards the bench where I had been sitting, pretending not to notice her for the first few moments.

She had changed her hair, curled it, no doubt to try and impress me. Something she didn't need to do, she was always beautiful in my eyes, always perfect. I loved absolutely everything about her, she didn't need to change for me, all I wanted was her.

She continued to stare at the bench where she had first seen me. The bench where I had sat, and chosen to take a seemingly "random" girl out for coffee. But she was not a random girl, she was everything to me, and she didn't even know it yet.

We had barley spoken after exchanging names, each of us choosing to simply stare at the other while finishing our coffee. Before I even had a chance to feel the time passing, I had glanced at my watch, and had noticed that she was going to be late for her inorganic class. Upon noticing, I had felt a deep sensation of disappointment sweep over me. I hadn't wanted her to leave, but I knew she had to. Her education was important to her, and I had to respect that.

"You're late for inorganic Ami." I had said, trying my hardest to mask my feelings of regret at having to voice this. But, being new to emotions, I hadn't learned how to deal with them in such an advanced matter, and I'm sure she could feel what I felt all but ebbing from my words. To my relief, she didn't question how exactly I knew what class she had, or how I knew that she had it right then.

She had jumped slightly, not wanting to be late for her class, but also realizing that we had been sitting together for nearly three hours, just looking at each other. Her eyes had darted away to her bag, but I had still been able to see the flash of red that had lit up her cheeks, making the corners of my lips dart up into a gentle smile.

She had begun to reach her hand into her bag, no doubt in search of money to pay for her drink. I may not have very many social skills, but I know how a gentleman should act. So I had reached out my hand to stop her, letting the coldness of my skin touch hers, sending a chill down my spine. She had tilted her head up in confusion at my touch, and I had sent a smile back down at her, unable to control the muscles not to. I had reached out my other hand, placing enough yen on the table to pay for our drinks, I hoped, and had pulled her out of the seat. The waitress had beamed as I led her out of the restaurant, but I had ignored her as I steered Ami towards the science building.

I dropped her hand as we reached the doors, only for the second it took to open them for her, happy to be able to grasp her hand in mine once again as we entered the building. I guided her by hand to the fourth floor, ignoring the awkward stares we received the entire way up. Being me, it's something you got used to, I had known what they would've said, had I given them enough time. And I had known how Ami would react to their insensitive remarks, the thought had sent a smile to my face as I ushered her away from the frat boy in blue. He had been trying to ask her out for quite a while, but she had shot him down every time.

As we reached the door, I saw a shot of vibrant green eyes flit over to me and Ami. They belonged to Catherine Stone, Ami's closest friend. She was an exchange student from America, and was one of the very few people who didn't seem to mind Ami's quietness. She would no doubt have a barrage of questions about me, once she finally got Ami alone during the class's lab. But Ami had chosen to ignore that fact, selecting instead to look back at me. I had been holding her hand tightly in mine, and was looking at the door to her classroom with a pang of regret. I hadn't wanted to let her go, never in my life had I wanted to hold onto to something more than I had her that day. I may not have understood the emotions she caused me to feel, but I did my best to accept them.

I had felt the warmth of her skin on mine as we both prepared to let go, and she had loosened her fingers slightly to prepare. But I had only tightened my grip more, staring up at her, my eyes flooded with desperation at the thought of leaving her. But I knew I had no choice, she needed to go to this class if she wanted her grades to continue with their current excellence. So in the end, I had relented, and both of us had loosened our grips on each other, while I moved towards her. For the first time in my life, I had adjusted my posture, to reach her cheek, letting my spine straighten to what was considered normal, and I realized I was actually taller than her.

I had kissed her, in what I hoped was a sweet and gentle gesture, letting my breath sweep itself over her cheek as I sighed in content.

"Same time tomorrow, Ami?" I had whispered in her ear, while moving my hand towards the doorknob to allow her to leave me.

She had nodded in agreement, and hadn't stopped me in opening the door for her yet again, while she pulled the rest of her fingers from mine.

"Goodbye, Ryuzaki." She had whispered gently, knowing that me, and only me, would be able to hear her. She had smiled, as I returned to my original stance, finding it impossible to keep a proper posture up for longer than necessary.

"Goodbye, Ami." I had said softly, feeling the light in my eyes fade as I turned to walk away. I moved slowly towards the stairs, feeling her eyes on me throughout my entire journey. I had placed my hand on the railing, turning my head over my shoulder to look at her once more. I had let my lips lift upwards into a smile, letting my eyes close longer than necessary for a blink, sending her a silent goodbye. She had returned the gesture with another one of her beautiful smiles, and I had moved to walk down the stairs, unable to wait for the coming day, when I could see her again.

But now, I was standing and looking at her as she stood waiting for me. She had come early today, not able to wait any longer than necessary it seems, to see me again.

She had no doubt woken up early that morning, caring more about her appearance than she ever has. I bet she had tried to pick out the perfect outfit, but had ended up wearing what she normally would've, unable to choose something I would like.

Her hair, had no doubt been another story. I have my suspicions that's she's never tried something like this before, probably following the same procedure that Catherine had shown her once. I could tell she didn't like it, preferring to be able to run her hands through her hair without her fingers catching on anything. She was trying too hard to look pretty today, she always looked pretty, her beauty radiated from her at every waking moment, she just couldn't see it.

I began to walk towards her, staring at her face as she leaned it up in thought, smiling as she puzzled over something that only she could find puzzling. Before she noticed me, I slipped my hand into hers, letting the warmth of her skin sink into the chill of mine as I looked up at her tenderly.

"Hello, Ami." I said in my peculiar way of speaking as she returned my smile and both of us tightened our grips on the other's hand.

"Hello Ryuzaki." She said, and I felt my smile slip slightly at her use of my false name. I hated lying to her about myself. I knew everything there was to know about her, and yet everything she knew about me, was forged for my identity's safety. I saw her eyes swim in confusion at my disappointment, and moved to mask it immediately. She couldn't know about that yet, it was my burden to bear, I had caused it for myself, chosen this. I couldn't let her carry some of this weight for me. I wouldn't be able to watch as she tried. I steered her towards our coffee shop again, trying to make my one moment of disappointment fade quickly from her mind.

My hand guided her to our booth in the back, and I could feel the waitress's beaming smile as she did what I could only call a "fan girl squeal" as she stood behind the counter.

I let her hand drop from mine as we each took up our spots again, and the waitress walked towards us with a tray in her hands.

"Hello again you two." She said as set down an upside down caramel cappuccino in front of Ami, and a tall mug of coffee in front of me.

My eyes never moved from Ami's greyish-blue ones as I spoke, "Thank you Kimiko." I said, while smiling warmly at the lovely woman sitting across from me.

The waitress, Kimiko, beamed down at us, and skipped away towards the next table while Ami continued to hold her eyes to mine. She seemed to be studying me, and I her. She watched me as my hands went about their mission of pouring sugar into my coffee, giving it yet again, close to the viscosity of a smoothie.

She sipped her coffee, sighing in content at its sweet flavor as it washed over her tongue, closing her eyes in what appeared to be relaxation as she breathed deeply. I smiled at her, and I'm sure that, even from behind her closed eyes, she could feel me doing so.

"Why do you always close your eyes when you drink your coffee Ami?" I asked with a false tone of curiosity, but a smile in my words.

She opened her eyes, and came to the conclusion that I'd been staring at her the entire time her eyes had been closed. I saw her cheeks redden at the thought, but heard her even tone as she answered me.

"I don't really know, I guess I only do it with this type of coffee. Maybe it's because it tastes so sweet, kind of like candy. I suppose it just relaxes me to drink it, and closing my eyes while I do just seems appropriate." She said quietly, as if she were scared of what my reaction might be. As if anything she does could be considered peculiar when compared to my eccentricities.

I looked up for a moment in false thought, "Quite understandable actually, I find I do the same thing when I eat some of my favorite things as well." I said with a soft smile, and her eyes beamed at me in response.

We continued that way for the rest of our time together that day. I asked her questions about herself, and she answered them as best as she good. Not that I needed her to answer any of my questions, I knew everything about her already, but it would seem strange if I didn't ask her these types of questions. I didn't need her thinking I was anymore of a freak because I knew why she did everything the way she did it. I was already strange enough.

I didn't give her any openings to ask me a single question about myself, it's not that answering them would be difficult, I was a fantastic liar. But I didn't want to forge the truth when it came to her, any more than I had to. I would have to explain myself eventually, and the less I lied about now, the easier that would be.

I tried to sound interested in everything she had to say, even if I knew it all already. But I didn't have to try very hard, just the sound of her voice made me want to beg to hear more, and asking questions was the perfect way to get exactly what I wanted.

Like the previous day, I walked her to her next class, my hand never dropping hers the entire way there. Even maneuvering myself in a different manner to be able to open a door for her, but continue to hold her hand in mine.

Upon reaching the door to the classroom, I adjusted my posture again, reaching my free hand up to caress her cheek. Her eyes and mine seemed to be glued to one another.

"If you don't mind Ami, I'd like to try something." I said, as I moved my hand behind her neck, letting her silk-like hair fall over my fingers as I leaned down. I let my breath blow against her lips as I hesitated for a moment, judging whether she was against what I was about to do. So when she closed her eyes, and moved her free hand to run it through my hair, I pressed my lips to hers.

I felt a chill send tingles down my spine, and sensed the same thing happening to her, as I moved my lips with hers. I felt the smoothness of her hair as it danced across my fingers. And could feel our clasped hands tighten as our fingers intertwined, while her other hand played with my hair.

I broke the contact between our lips, and moved closer to her ear, "Your hair looks very beautiful today by the way." I said as I moved my free hand to her cheek again, running my hand down her face and letting the warmth of her skin descend into mine. I knew she'd appreciate the compliment even though she doesn't like it when people praise her, I was sure this time would be an exception.

I pulled back for a minute to look into her eyes, and saw a smile playing on her lips, feeling the corners of mine lift up at the sight. I leaned down once more, but only to brush my lips against her smooth cheek.

"Same time tomorrow, Ami?" I asked, getting the feeling that this would soon become a habit between us.

"Mmhm." She mumbled in agreement, while pulling my lips back to hers for only a moment, in a short but very, very sweet kiss. I let go of her hand, moving it to the small of her back, and was unable to help myself from letting a small moan escape the back of my throat.

"You're going to be late Ami." I said, as I pulled my lips back from hers slightly, letting my breath slide over her face for a second time. She opened her eyes to see me smiling at her as I removed my hands from her hair and back.

"I don't care." She breathed quietly, and I chuckled at the statement.

"Yes you do Ami." I said, letting another chuckle escape my throat as I pulled away yet again, "I'll see you tomorrow." I replied, in a calm, monotone voice, but letting a smile pull at the corners of my mouth. She watched me as I returned to my normal posture, and as I left to make my way to the stairs, as I did yesterday. I smiled as I turned my head around, closing my eyes in another silent goodbye. I felt a unusual flutter in my stomach as she returned the gesture with a smile of her own.

I turned the corner, and realized something at the end of that day spent with Ami.

She was beginning to feel for me, as I did her.


	6. Chapter 5

_**Okay guys, just a heads up that theres a time lasp here, only a few months, but I thought I'd let you know. Oh and sorry if some of the timings are wrong, but I just picked what worked out best.**_

_**Oh and I know that this is a little different, having L's point of view be first, but I'm not really sure that I'll be doing this chapter in Ami's point of view. I may, bt I haven't decided yet. **_

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><p>I had to tell her.<p>

She needed to know, about everything. I loved her with all of my heart, and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep lying to her. The past few months I've spent with her have been the best I've ever lived. But everything I've ever told her about me, from my name to my family history, have all been forged for the safety of L's true identity. I could tell that she had feelings for me, so I couldn't keep this up any longer, she needed to know. And she needed to know now.

We'd only been seeing each other once a day, at the coffee shop across from To-Oh. It had become a habit of ours, and I had a strange fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever I thought about being able to see her. Being away from headquarters was a proving to be a difficult task, especially after everything that had happened in the past months. First Light was willingly placed under twenty-four hour surveillance along with Miss. Amane, something that ended up proving their innocence. Then, upon his release, he joined the task force, and aided us in capturing the current Kira, Mr. Higuchi of Yotsuba. But the moment we had him in our clutches, he perished of a heart attack, and we gained Kira's killing device. The greatest murder weapon ever found.

The Death Note.

Equipped with its very own shinigami, this murderous notebook could kill anyone whose name is written inside it. We of course, questioned the shinigami, Rem, and tried to understand how the notebook worked. But the shinigami was vague, and didn't even bother to answer some of our questions.

Light, on the other hand, seemed different. No, I shouldn't say different, he was no longer himself after the time he spent in that jail cell. No, I should say that he'd returned to the Light I had known since day one. The man I believed could very well be Kira, the man I knew to be Kira. He was planning his next move, and I was absolutely positive that I knew what it was.

This was why I had to tell her, she had to know what was about to happen, and in order to tell her that, she needed to know everything about me.

Today was Saturday, so she had no classes to go to once I met her, meaning I could take all the time I needed to explain everything I'd lied to her about. As I walked past the science building, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I never should have started anything with her. I'd had no right to show her how I felt, hoping that she would eventually feel the same way for me. I had known I would have to lie to be with her, the woman I loved more than anything, but I didn't deserve her. When I had taken up the title of L, the world's greatest detective, who could solve any case given to him, I had chosen a life of solitude, broken only by the presence of Watari. I had chosen to be alone, but then I'd met her. And there was nothing I had wanted more than to be with her. And now, I would have to explain myself, and then return to my life of seclusion, or at least, what was left of it.

She was standing alone on the bricks of the square where we always met. I'm sure she expected this to be like any other day. That we would go to the coffee shop, and just be with each other, for as long as we could, before breaking off until the next day. I felt repulsed by myself, why had I done this to her? Why had I taken this remarkable woman, and made her feel for me as I did her, knowing that we'd never truly be able to be together. Every step I took towards her only made me feel more disgusted by my very self. I didn't deserve her, and she was worthy of far better than me.

I stepped beside her, and took her hand in mine. I felt the warmth her skin radiated as it descended into mine, and tried not to shiver in disgust at the thought of what I was about to do. She smiled down at me, and I forced my lips to rise up to return the gesture, hating how difficult every movement felt.

"Hello Ryuzaki." Her voice spoke, and I felt my spine tingle as her words swirled in the air around me. I loved her too much for her own good.

"Hello Ami. If you don't mind, I'd like to take you somewhere different today. There are some things I need to tell you, and I'm afraid even the confines of the coffee shop's booth aren't private enough for what I need to say." I let my monotone voice recite the words to her, as I tried to hide the abundance of my newfound emotions behind a wall. But I was helpless when some of the mortar dissolved, letting a few bricks fall, and allowing some of the overwhelming sadness and guilt I felt to seep through.

She frowned down at me, "Alright Ryuzaki, but are you okay? You don't look yourself today." She asked me politely. But her voice was filled with concern for me, and care. Things I didn't deserve.

"Yes Ami, yes I'm fine." I lied smoothly, feeling a hole open up in my chest as I did. I couldn't handle this any longer, the lies needed to stop.

I guided her towards the car I'd left Watari in; he'd agreed to take her to a part of the headquarters that none of the task force spent their time in. That way I could explain to her the truth. He would then take her from me, and drive her to wherever she chose to go. I knew that today was the last day I'd be with her, but I was unable to accept it.

The drive was silent, but Ami held tightly to my hand the entire way there. She tried to catch my eyes to hers, and I was powerless against her. I stared deep into her eyes, and tried to burn the image of her into my mind.

I would never forget her. But I hoped she would forget me. I hoped she would be happy. And no matter how much it hurt to wish it, I hoped she would fall in love with someone she deserved. Someone who would make her as happy as she made me whenever I saw her. Someone who would be able to do everything for her that I couldn't. Someone who would wait for her at the end of an aisle, knowing that they are the luckiest person in the world to be able to call her theirs. I just wanted her to be happy, even if her happiness only caused me misery for the rest of my life.

We reached the building quickly, and I pulled her from the car, leading her to the room that would house the end of everything I cared about. The room itself was rarely used, but was perfectly clean. The large bed at the center of the back wall was covered by a plain black comforter, and the walls were painted a warm shade of grey. The furniture was simple, and everything upon it was neatly organized. The room was barely in use at the best of times, I had no need for it, and I'm sure the task force members had no idea it even existed.

They didn't even think I slept, so I'm sure me having a bedroom never crossed their minds.

I slowly guided Ami to the couch on the right side of my room, wanting to take up as much time as I could with her before I told her about the lies. Wanting to just hold her hand and feel the heat of her flesh as it rested against mine.

The springs of the couch creaked at the new sensation of weight being placed upon them, as I sat Ami down. I moved my hand to her cheek, sliding the back of my hand down her smooth skin, until I held her chin between my thumb and forefinger. I held her eyes to mine, and felt my wall break down entirely, flooding my eyes with emotions they'd never before housed.

"There's something wrong. Just tell me what it is Ryuzaki." She said quietly. I felt her warm breath wash over my face, and I closed my eyes.

"That is." I said slowly, before pressing my lips to hers with a sense of desperation. This would be my last chance to feel her mouth on mine, I wanted to remember it. I wanted to remember her when she would slip willingly into my arms, would willingly press her lips to mine. I just wanted to remember her. Ami.

I pulled my lips from hers, "What was that for? Why won't you tell me what's wrong Ryuzaki?" she whispered, her tone full of worry for me.

I cringed at her use of my forged name, and her tone of care. All of this was based on my lies, and I had to fix it.

"I had to do that one more time, because after what I'm about to tell you, I may never have another chance." I breathed, opening my eyes to see her confused frown.

"What do you mean Ryuzaki?" she asked in confusion, with a base of fear hiding in her tone.

I stepped away from her, knowing I'd never be able to speak these words if I was holding onto her.

"My real name is L Lawliet. I've been lying to you all these months Ami, and I'm sorry for that, but I had to. You couldn't know about the real me, not when we first met. Not about the things I've done, my reasons for everything I do." I whispered, knowing my voice would carry to her. I turned my head around, unable to keep myself from seeing her reaction as I opened the gate of my lies.

"You're the L?" she said in astonishment, bringing her hand up to her mouth as she gasped.

"I see, so you've heard of me," I said with a tone of sarcasm, disgust for myself filling every part of my being.

"I've gone by many other names in the past, but the three most known detectives in the world, L, Eraldo Coil, and Deneuve. Are all actually me. I'm a sort of trump card, somebody the police call if, and only if, things get bad enough that they can't take care of it themselves. Generally, by the time they call on me, I've already started my investigation, but I'm apparently the best of the best. I've solved every case ever given to me, in a record amount of time, and I've become quite famous for it."

I began pacing in front of her, nudging the coffee table with my shins at ever pass. I couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes as she learned what I've done.

"The weight of this burden actually weighs me down every day; it makes my back hunch with every step. Every move I make just brings back memories of the things I've done, the people I've chosen to let die for the sakes of others. The children I had to watch get killed, just because I couldn't find the answers in time. The screams of horror that ring in my ears every second of the day, have curved my spine.

"I constantly need something sweet in mouth, because I can't stand the bitter flavor that's permanently fixed there after everything I've done. My eyes, looked like they've been outlined with a sharpie, giving me the look as if I haven't slept my entire life, and this isn't really a lie. My job requires that I can function without sleep, yet still have a brain that works beyond that of any regular human.

"So, when the ICPO called upon me, to aid them with the Kira investigation, I told them I'd already been working on it. In fact, I'd already made some crucial discoveries, and to prove the legitimacy of them, I would need the help of the world's police, Japan especially. They questioned my motives, but when I pulled my stunt of goading Kira on television, I not only proved that he was residing in Japan. But that he could kill a person, without even lifting a finger, or being in their presence. I had already lived up to my reputation, and I hadn't even started yet."

I stopped my pacing then, needing to see her face. I needed to see her reaction. But when I did, I wasn't sure I'd be able to go on. Tears were pouring down her cheeks, and the sight of it only made the hole in my chest grow making it difficult to even breathe. I raised my hand to move towards her, to comfort her. But I knew my touch wouldn't do any good, I was the one who made her shed these tears. And the realization of that killed me.

I looked away, needing to go on.

"In a few weeks, I already had a suspect, and my task force had been dwindled down to only a handful of people driven by the sake of justice. It didn't help that the person I believed to be Kira, just happened to be the son of the Japanese's chief of police. Nobody wanted to believe me, but they knew of my past accomplishments, so they had no choice but to follow my lead.

"The investigation drew out, and soon, my prime suspect was about to go to the opening ceremonies of To-Oh University. As the freshman representative no less. I had to make a move then, the timing would be perfect. So I took the entrance exams as well, and passed with the same scores as he did, ensuring that I'd be able to talk to him as we left the stage after the freshman address." I paused for a moment, hearing Ami's voice, interrupting me.

"Light Yagami? He's your suspect?" she said in disbelief, warm tears still trickling their way down her smooth skin.

"Yes, he always has been. He is Kira, I know it. I just can't prove it in a way that anyone else will believe." I replied to her, feeling the edges of the hole throb painfully at the sight of her tears.

I moved further away from her, unable to be even a few feet from her now. I couldn't stand to see her in pain, even worse was the fact that I had caused her this pain.

"When I returned to headquarters that day, I replayed everything in my mind. Going over every single detail of that day, making sure I hadn't missed a crucial piece of information. I followed my every move, and as my foot hit the third step from the bottom as I walked off the stage, who should come into my left field of vision, but you.

"You captivated me, Ami, never before had I seen another human being as lovely as you. But I thought you were going to be just another one of those people, the ones that caught my attention for some reason or another. The ones who would lose my interest after a few days, and would never occupy another one of my thoughts.

"But not you. After the opening ceremony, you took up a permanent residence in my mind. Even after learning as much as I could about you, all I wanted was more. I practically stalked you after that day. I learned your favorite way to have your coffee. I learned how you were never very social as a child, how you preferred to study or read than to go out on the weekends. I know that you blame yourself for the fact that your parents divorced when you were eight years old. I know that when you were ten, only ten years old, your mother stopped talking to you altogether. I know that she showed up at your high school graduation, the day that was supposed to only be about you, and you refused to even speak to her." I said, allowing actual emotions to seep into my words for the first time in my life. I kept my head turned from her. How afraid she must be of me now.

"I've read countless articles depicting how your father pulled your mother away from you, into the schools parking lot. How he tried talking to her gently, telling her how she had no right to just show up on that day of all days. How they were still standing there, arguing, when the truck hit them both. I know how you blame yourself for that even more than the divorce. How since that day, you've been wary about getting close to anyone, shutting yourself up in your own world, being even quieter than ever." I heard her cry out, and the sound of that in my ears was enough to make me run to her and take her in my arms. Even though I know there must've been nothing she wanted less than to be held by me.

"Ami, these past few months with you, have been something I never thought I'd be able to experience. You made me feel things that I never thought possible. I'm sorry for lying to you, but I want to thank you for the time you gave me. The moments I've spent with you will always be remembered by me, and I can understand how you may never want to see me again. But please Ami, please let me finish before you leave. I know you owe me nothing, but please don't leave me before I tell you everything. I'll never be able to live with myself if you do." I whispered in her ear, the emotions and pain I felt causing my body to tremble against her. She didn't answer me, but she didn't move to leave either. So I let go of her to continue.

"That second day at the coffee shop when I asked you countless questions, I already knew the answers to all of them, and more. But I had to keep up appearances. It would be odd if a man you seemingly just met knew every detail there was to know about your life. But it was actually quite simple to acquire the information. If I chose to do so, I could learn things about any human on this planet, things about themselves that even they didn't necessarily know. Being me isn't simple, I have to deal with horrible tragedies daily, and make it seem as if they don't even faze me. But, being me also comes with its perks.

"I can control entire armies all over the world, make them do whatever I tell them. Millions of people on this planet idolize a man whose face they've never even seen, whose voice they've never heard if it hasn't come through a synthesizer. They rely on me, which is why they chose to put me in charge of the investigation to capture the worst murderer of all time." I needed to move on from these subjects. She no doubt wanted to leave, and there was still one thing she had to know. One thing that would be the most difficult to tell her, since even I hadn't accepted it yet.

"Light Yagami, has been proving to be a very difficult adversary. He's cunning, and always has a plan up his sleeve. He even concocted a way to make it so nobody on the task force could continue to hold him or Misa Amane responsible for being Kira and the second Kira. He squirmed his way onto the task force, and helped us to catch the person that he no doubt planned to be Kira for the time he needed them to be. Mr. Higuchi of Yotsuba, was apprehended just the other day. We had him in our grasp, and finally, we learned how Kira could kill his victims.

"The Death Note. One just has to picture a person's face in their mind, and then write down their name. The can choose the time, and the way for it to happen, but that's all they have to do to kill somebody of their choice.

"Any person, who touches the Death Note, can see its original owner, a shinigami. A shinigami is able to see, not only your real name just floating above your head, but your exact time of death as well. Now I know how hard this must be to believe, but I wouldn't tell you this if I hadn't seen proof. And Ami, you must believe me, because what I have to say next will be the hardest for me to speak aloud." I said as I swiveled around to face her, cringing at the sight of her eyes as they looked at me, swimming with pain. I had caused this to happen to her, I had made the woman I love feel this pain.

"Unfortunately, just after we learned how Higuchi had been killing his victims, he died of a heart attack on the scene. I don't know how, but Light Yagami did this. And now we're back to square one, I know that Light is Kira, nobody believes me, and we have no suspect. But that's not the worst bit Ami. I wish with all my heart and soul that it was, but it's not.

"I know what Light Yagami's next move will be. The shinigami attached to the notebook we took from Higuchi, is oddly attached to Misa Amane, and would do anything to keep her safe. Somehow, in two weeks if I am correct, Light Yagami will trick this shinigami into doing something to save Misa from further harm." I moved closer to her then, needing her near me as I said the next words.

"In two weeks, on November the sixth if my deduction is correct, Light Yagami will trick the shinigami, into killing me." I said, and I felt my body begin to shake as I heard myself speak the words.

"I want to thank you Ami, for giving me the time with you that you did. Thanks to you, I now have something to look back on before I die, and find joy in some of my memories. I love you, Ami, and I am so grateful to you, for lighting up my world, even if it was only for a short time. I'm sorry for lying to you about everything, and I'm sorry for making you listen to everything I've had to say. But I wanted to die with as much of a clean slate as I could create for myself. I'm so sorry, Ami." I said, reverting back to my usual way of speaking as I sank into the couch's warm hold, as far from her as I could reach.

"Watari is outside in the car, he'll take you wherever you wish to go, since I'm sure all you want is to leave. Just please promise me Ami, that you'll be happy. You deserve so much better than me, and no matter how much it hurts me, please find someone who makes you as happy as you've made me. Please." I let my legs fall from my chest, sitting normally on the couch as I felt the weight of my lies leave me, and the throbbing of my chest as the hole widened.

I closed my eyes as I felt her pressure leave the couch, but opened them again in surprise as she wrapped her arms around me. Streams of electricity flowing through every part of her that touched me. Her silk-like hair was flung over my face and shoulders as she held me close, and I felt my arms move as if they had a mind of their own, wrapping themselves around her and pulling her even closer to me.

"I understand that you lied to me Ryu….L, but I recognize why you had to. How could you ever think that just that would make me want to leave you. Especially now, that you tell me you may die in the next few weeks. You say you know everything about me L, that I've occupied space in your mind since the opening ceremonies. But you can't know me at all if you think I'd do that. I am not leaving you L, and you're not getting rid of me. I love you." She said to me, and I felt her tears as they soaked into the shoulder of my shirt. A new sensation was coming over me, one that I'd never felt before. I reached a hand up to my cheek, and as I pulled it back, I saw that it was shining with tears. I was crying, but not in sadness.

I tightened my grip on the woman I loved. Ami, I could feel her everywhere, and I could feel the tears she caused me to shed as they traveled down my cheek. I breathed in the scent that wafted from her hair, and felt her hands as they moved up and down the tense muscles of my back and shoulders, trying to soothe me. My body trembled as I held her, and realized what she was saying.

"Thank you Ami. Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for making it so that I won't have to return to my life of solitude before I die. Thank you Ami." I stuttered, finding it difficult to speak and cry at the same time, as Ami rocked me back and forth in her arms.

"I love you, L Lawliet. And I will never leave you, so don't even think about trying to make me." She whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I felt the corners of my lips pull up into a smile, something I never thought I'd be able to do again, after this day.

"I love you to, Ami. And I wouldn't dream of it."


	7. Chapter 6

_**Okay guys, I forgot to say this in the beginning, but sorry if L isn't really himself. I didn't want to take Takeshi Obata's character entirely (I wanted to plagerize as little as possible) plus I didn't feel that I'd be able to write in my own style if I had to worry about someone else's character style. So I apologize that L is a little bit of an OC at parts, but I couldn't write a story my way without doing so.**_

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><p>We'd been seeing each other for a few months now, eventually setting ourselves into a routine. Everyday, after my class, I'd go and wait in the square for Ryuzaki. I never had to wait long, and soon enough I'd feel the chill of his skin as it rested against mine while he held my hand in his. He'd guide me over to the coffee shop, and no matter what, our booth in the back was always empty. I guess it wasn't close enough to the rest of the shop's society for some, but for us, it was perfect.<p>

Today was Saturday, so I had no classes to go to after I met Ryuzaki, which is why I preferred the weekends. Having nowhere to go after my morning lecture, made it so I could spend even longer with him than I generally could.

Everyday I would wake up with a fluttery feeling deep in my stomach that would only be cured when I saw him standing next to me. And for my entire time spent with him, I never pulled my eyes away from his. His eyes seemed to reach back so far into his mind, and looking at their rich blackness, made me feel like I could almost see his very thoughts. The ones he tended to keep concealed from me, for reasons I could never guess.

I stood alone on the bricks of the square, and felt the cold November wind as it fought its way through the boundaries of my coat. I stood still, waiting for the moment when I would see Ryuzaki walk next to me. But today, I felt his hand before I saw him. He was never one to show his emotions outright, but today I could tell there was something amiss. He looked more drawn than usual, and the corners of his lips were pulled down into a slight frown as he caught my hand in his. I smiled down at him, hoping that he would tell me what was bothering him, but he only looked up at my eyes, and returned my smile with a weak one of his own.

"Hello Ryuzaki." I said, wishing he'd understand how much I cared about him. Wishing he'd trust me enough to confide his deepest secret, the one he continued to hide from me. I loved him with all of my heart, and I didn't want him to have to face his battles alone.

"Hello Ami. If you don't mind, I'd like to take you somewhere different today. There are some things I need to tell you, and I'm afraid even the confines of the coffee shop's booth aren't private enough for what I need to say." He recited to me, as he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, sending chills up and down my arm. He didn't look at me, and I could all but see the waves of sadness as they trickled from every word he spoke.

I felt my lips fall into a frown, "Alright Ryuzaki, but are you okay? You don't look yourself today." I asked, hearing my own voice as it drifted through the air, filled with concern for the man who held my hand in his.

"Yes Ami, yes I'm fine." He replied, but I could see him catch his breath for a moment, as if in pain. He seemed to recover quickly, and I began to question whether my imagination was making me see things.

He walked me towards, what seemed to be a limousine. And as I climbed in, I could see a small flicker of snow white hair just above the headrest in the front seat. But the glory of my surroundings didn't register on my radar as I held tightly to Ryuzaki's hand for the whole drive. I tried to catch his eyes to mine, wanting to study the meaning behind his sorrow. He seemed to resist at first, but relented in the end, and I spent the entire journey in the car just looking over him once again. I wished he could trust me enough to tell me about his troubles. I couldn't understand why he kept so many things hidden from me. Surely he had his reasons?

We reached a very modern looking building in a short amount of time, and Ryuzaki quickly pulled me from the car. He led me to a room that looked like it didn't get used very often. There was a large bed at the center of the back wall, sheltered by only a black comforter. The walls were painted a warm shade of grey, and the furnishings were simple, but everything was organized. I wondered for a moment, where I was exactly, but then came to the conclusion that this must be Ryuzaki's room. The reason it looked as if it was never used was no doubt because it wasn't. When looking at the blackened lines under his eyes, one would never guess he even had a place where he might sleep. It was as if he didn't have the need to.

He guided me to the couch on the right side of the room, taking far more time than necessary. I wondered what he was doing, but let the thoughts drift out of my mind as the couch's springs creaked. Only more proof that the room was rarely used.

I watched his hand rise in the air, until it came to rest on my cheek. I felt the back of his hand slide down my skin. And I held his eyes to mine as his hand continued to move, only stopping when he grasped my chin between his thumb and forefinger. I watched a wall break completely behind his eyes, and saw as his emotions moved to fill them. Something that I had my suspicions about never happening to him before.

"There's something wrong. Just tell me what it is Ryuzaki." I said quietly, staring straight at him, willing him to tell me of his troubles as he slowly closed his eyes.

"That is." He said slowly, and before I could even come to terms with my confusion for his statement, he pressed his lips to mine with a sense of desperation. I kissed him back, but was perplexed as to why the way his lips touched mine, gave me the feeling that he would never place them there again.

He pulled his lips from mine and I looked at him in confusion.

"What was that for? Why won't you tell me what's wrong Ryuzaki?" I whispered, hearing the worry seep into my voice. I saw him cringe for reasons that I didn't understand.

"I had to do that on more time, because after what I'm about to tell you, I may never have another chance." He breathed, opening his eyes once again as I felt a frown of puzzlement move onto my face.

"What do you mean Ryuzaki?" I asked in confusion, and felt a base of fear in my tone. He was starting to scare me, but he was being so vague. Why couldn't he just tell me what was troubling him?

He stepped away from me, and I felt a wave of loneliness crash over me. It was as if he was going to leave me, but I didn't understand why.

"My real name is L Lawliet. I've been lying to you all these months Ami, and I'm sorry for that, but I had to. You couldn't know about the real me, not when we first met. Not about the things I've done, my reasons for everything I do." He whispered in a voice that was only barely audible, but my breath caught in my throat as I heard his words.

"You're the L?" I asked, unable to hide my gasp of astonishment, even though I tried in obvious futility with my hand.

"I see, so you've heard of me," he said with a tone of sarcasm as he winced in evident pain.

"I've gone by many other names in the past, but the three most known detectives in the world, L, Eraldo Coil, and Deneuve. Are all actually me. I'm a sort of trump card, somebody the police call if, and only if, things get bad enough that they can't take care of it themselves. Generally, by the time they call on me, I've already started my investigation, but I'm apparently the best of the best. I've solved every case ever given to me, in a record amount of time, and I've become quite famous for it." He said slowly, as if wanting every one of his words to sink in, for me to understand everything he said completely.

He began to pace slowly in front of me, letting his shins nudge the coffee table with every pass he made. He wouldn't look me in the eyes, and seemed to go out of his way to do so.

"The weight of this burden actually weighs me down every day; it makes my back hunch with every step. Every move I make just brings back memories of the things I've done, the people I've chosen to let die for the sakes of others. The children I had to watch get killed, just because I couldn't find the answers in time. The screams of horror that ring in my ears every second of the day, have curved my spine." I heard him say even though I had closed my eyes for a moment, not wanting to see the pain that hunched his form as he spoke the reasons. I couldn't bare to see him in pain, and I wished I knew how to help him, wished I could wrap my arms around him and make everything alright. But by the way he distanced himself from me, I had the feeling my touch would do nothing, as if he no longer wanted it.

I opened my eyes; to listen to what else he had to say, because I could tell, there had to be more. There must be more pain hidden deep in his eyes, that I could never see, and I had to hear it, no matter how much I couldn't bear to see it.

"I constantly need something sweet in mouth, because I can't stand the bitter flavor that's permanently fixed there after everything I've done. My eyes, look like they've been outlined with a sharpie, giving me the look as if I haven't slept my entire life, and this isn't really a lie. My job requires that I can function without sleep, yet still have a brain that works beyond that of any regular human." He said, as his feet continued to walk him back and forth in front of the table. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes at the pain he must feel every day, not just from what he's done, but from having to hide his emotions. To act as if everything he does doesn't move him at all.

"So, when the ICPO called upon me, to aid them with the Kira investigation, I told them I'd already been working on it. In fact, I'd already made some crucial discoveries, and to prove the legitimacy of them, I would need the help of the world's police, Japan especially. They questioned my motives, but when I pulled my stunt of goading Kira on television, I not only proved that he was residing in Japan. But that he could kill a person, without even lifting a finger, or being in their presence. I had already lived up to my reputation, and I hadn't even started yet."

I could feel a hint of sarcastic pride in his voice as he stopped speaking for a moment. The great detective L, rumoured at accomplishing the impossible. What type of burden must he carry. To have to look back on everything he's done for the sake of others, and still feel the pain and guilt at being unable to save some. I felt the tears, warm on my face, as they trailed down my cheek, and continued to listen to his story.

He stopped pacing for a moment, turning his head to look at me. I saw him struggle for breath at the sight of my tears, and saw him raise his hand as if to move towards me. But he only allowed it to hang limply in the air, before dropping it back to his side. He turned his head away quickly, and refused to look at me, keeping his eyes fixed on either the floor or the wall as he continued.

"In a few weeks, I already had a suspect, and my task force had been dwindled down to only a handful of people driven by the sake of justice. It didn't help that the person I believed to be Kira, just happened to be the son of the Japanese's chief of police. Nobody wanted to believe me, but they knew of my past accomplishments, so they had no choice but to follow my lead.

"The investigation drew out, and soon, my prime suspect was about to go to the opening ceremonies of To-Oh University. As the freshman representative no less. I had to make a move then, the timing would be perfect. So I took the entrance exams as well, and passed with the same scores as he did, ensuring that I'd be able to talk to him as we left the stage after the freshman address." He stopped suddenly, aware of my voice as I interrupted his story.

"Light Yagami? He's your suspect?" I said in disbelief, not able to think of such a respectable student performing the monstrosities that Kira was known for.

"Yes, he always has been. He is Kira, I know it. I just can't prove it in a way that anyone else will believe." He replied to me, not letting his eyes flicker to mine for even a second as he winced in pain once again.

He moved even further away from me, as if he couldn't stand to be in my presence anymore. I couldn't understand why he was doing this, and I felt my tears as they showed my confusion.

"When I returned to headquarters that day, I replayed everything in my mind. Going over every single detail of that day, making sure I hadn't missed a crucial piece of information. I followed my every move, and as my foot hit the third step from the bottom as I walked off the stage, who should come into my left field of vision, but you." He said, letting a tenderness smother some of the pain in his voice as he looked up at me. I felt a flutter in my chest as heard his next words.

"You captivated me, Ami, never before had I seen another human being as lovely as you. But I thought you were going to be just another one of those people, the ones that caught my attention for some reason or another. The ones who would lose my interest after a few days, and would never occupy another one of my thoughts.

"But not you. After the opening ceremony, you took up a permanent residence in my mind. Even after learning as much as I could about you, all I wanted was more. I practically stalked you after that day. I learned your favorite way to have your coffee. I learned how you were never very social as a child, how you preferred to study or read than to go out on the weekends. I know that you blame yourself for the fact that your parents divorced when you were eight years old. I know that when you were ten, only ten years old, your mother stopped talking to you altogether. I know that she showed up at your high school graduation, the day that was supposed to only be about you, and you refused to even speak to her." He said, and I felt a sadness I hadn't thought of for a long time well up in me.

He was right, Mom and Dad had never really gotten along, and when they divorced I thought it was because of me. But then two years after, Mom stopped talking to me altogether, not even bothering to tell me where she was heading off to. And then, after eight years of silence, she showed up on my graduation day, trying to act like a proud parent, when she didn't even know where I planned on going to university, or what I wanted to study. I hadn't wanted to speak to her, but then…

"I've read countless articles depicting how your father pulled your mother away from you, into the schools parking lot. How he tried talking to her gently, telling her how she had no right to just show up on that day of all days. How they were still standing there, arguing, when the truck hit them both. I know how you blame yourself for that even more than the divorce. How since that day, you've been wary about getting close to anyone, shutting yourself up in your own world, being even quieter than ever." He said, and I couldn't keep a cry from escaping my mouth. He overcame the space between us in mere seconds, and held me in his arms as I remembered that day.

Dad had grown more attached to me over the years of silence from Mom, and had taken on the protectiveness of both parents. So when Mom had shown up that day, he had pulled her away from me, worried for my safety. But soon enough, they were arguing again, loud enough to not even hear the truck as its brakes squealed.

Then they were gone, and everyone was screaming around me, the ceremony and the pride momentarily forgotten. Someone had taken me back into the school, and had sat me in the principals' chair. They had told me to wait there, and eventually the police showed up, asking me questions that I answered robotically. I had only wanted to leave, to go home and be alone. But no one had let me go until well into the night. I had tried to forget that day over the years, but it always came back to haunt me. I cried into his arms as he held me, and felt the warmth of his hold calm me slightly.

"Ami, these past few months with you, have been something I never thought I'd be able to experience. You made me feel things that I never thought possible. I'm sorry for lying to you, but I want to thank you for the time you gave me. The moments I've spent with you will always be remembered by me, and I can understand how you may never want to see me again. But please Ami, please let me finish before you leave. I know you owe me nothing, but please don't leave me before I tell you everything. I'll never be able to live with myself if you do." He said, and I felt confusion hit me quickly, leave him? What did he mean? I tried to speak, but my voice caught in my throat as the tears slowly dried. He took my silence as an answer to his request and released me so he could continue.

"That second day at the coffee shop when I asked you countless questions, I already knew the answers to all of them, and more. But I had to keep up appearances. It would be odd if a man you seemingly just met knew every detail there was to know about your life. But it was actually quite simple to acquire the information. If I chose to do so, I could learn things about any human on this planet, things about themselves that even they didn't necessarily know. Being me isn't simple, I have to deal with horrible tragedies daily, and make it seem as if they don't even faze me. But, being me also comes with its perks.

"I can control entire armies all over the world, make them do whatever I tell them. Millions of people on this planet idolize a man whose face they've never even seen, whose voice they've never heard if it hasn't come through a synthesizer. They rely on me, which is why they chose to put me in charge of the investigation to capture the worst murderer of all time." He said with a tone of guilt, as if he should be held accounted for the mistakes of the world.

"Light Yagami, has been proving to be a very difficult adversary. He's cunning, and always has a plan up his sleeve. He even concocted a way to make it so nobody on the task force could continue to hold him or Misa Amane responsible for being Kira and the second Kira. He squirmed his way onto the task force, and helped us to catch the person that he no doubt planned to be Kira for the time he needed them to be. Mr. Higuchi of Yotsuba, was apprehended just the other day. We had him in our grasp, and finally, we learned how Kira could kill his victims."

"The Death Note. One just has to picture a person's face in their mind, and then write down their name. They can choose the time, and the way for it to happen, but that's all they have to do to kill somebody of their choice." I gasped in amazement, not even thinking that this could be a lie. Something as impossible as this couldn't be a lie, and the fact that such a device was in the hands of Kira frightened me.

"Any person, who touches the Death Note, can see its original owner, a shinigami. A shinigami is able to see, not only your real name just floating above your head, but your exact time of death as well. Now I know how hard this must be to believe, but I wouldn't tell you this if I hadn't seen proof. And Ami, you must believe me, because what I have to say next will be the hardest for me to speak aloud." He said as he swivelled around to face me. I saw him wince when he looked at my eyes, and saw that his were swimming in pain.

"Unfortunately, just after we learned how Higuchi had been killing his victims, he died of a heart attack on the scene. I don't know how, but Light Yagami did this. And now we're back to square one, I know that Light is Kira, nobody believes me, and we have no suspect. But that's not the worst bit Ami. I wish with all my heart and soul that it was, but it's not.

"I know what Light Yagami's next move will be. The shinigami attached to the notebook we took from Higuchi, is oddly attached to Misa Amane, and would do anything to keep her safe. Somehow, in two weeks if I am correct, Light Yagami will trick this shinigami into doing something to save Misa from further harm." He moved closer to me as he said these words. I could tell what he needed to say next had to sink in, because it seemed that even he hadn't accepted it yet.

"In two weeks, on November the sixth if my deduction is correct, Light Yagami will trick the shinigami, into killing me." He said, and I saw his body begin to shake as he spoke the words. I wanted to cry out, but my voice wouldn't allow it.

Was there nothing I could do, could I not save him somehow? I plead to God, praying that if he existed he would save him. That I'd give anything for his deduction to be wrong this time. That if it wasn't, I'd gladly take his place. Just save him, please.

"I want to thank you Ami, for giving me the time with you that you did. Thanks to you, I now have something to look back on before I die, and find joy in some of my memories. I love you, Ami, and I am so grateful to you, for lighting up my world, even if it was only for a short time. I'm sorry for lying to you about everything, and I'm sorry for making you listen to everything I've had to say. But I wanted to die with as much of a clean slate as I could create for myself. I'm so sorry, Ami." He said as he reverted back to his normal way of speaking.

"Watari is outside in the car, he'll take you wherever you wish to go, since I'm sure all you want is to leave. Just please promise me Ami, that you'll be happy. You deserve so much better than me, and no matter how much it hurts me, please find someone who makes you as happy as you've made me. Please." He let his legs fall from his chest as he spoke, sitting normally on the couch as he breathed deeply.

He closed his eyes as I rose from the couch, but I saw them jump open in surprise as I wrapped my arms around him. I could feel streams of electricity flowing through every part of him that touched me as I held him. And soon enough, I felt his arms wrap themselves over me as he pulled me even closer to him.

"I understand that you lied to me Ryu….L, but I recognize why you had to. How could you ever think that just that would make me want to leave you. Especially now, that you tell me you may die in the next few weeks. You say you know everything about me L, that I've occupied space in your mind since the opening ceremonies. But you can't know me at all if you think I'd do that. I am not leaving you L, and you're not getting rid of me. I love you." I felt my tears soak into his shirt as he reached his hand to his face. He gasped in surprise as he realized that he was crying himself, but not in sadness.

He tightened his grip on me, and he was close enough to me that I could feel him everywhere. I could feel the tears drip off his face as they fell onto my shirt; I breathed in the scent that drifted lightly from his hair, and moved my hand up and down the tense muscles of his back. Slowly trying to soothe him while his body trembled as he held me.

"Thank you Ami. Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for making it so that I won't have to return to my life of solitude before I die. Thank you Ami." He stuttered, probably finding it difficult to talk and cry for the first time.

"I love you, L Lawliet. And I will never leave you, so don't even think about trying to make me." I whispered to him sternly, trying to make him smile.

"I love you to Ami. And I wouldn't dream of it." He replied, and I felt the corners of my lips lift up into a smile.


	8. Chapter 7

_**Alright guys, this is the penultimate chapter. I hope you like it! :D**_

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><p>I woke up before I opened my eyes, and felt the sensation of movement as my head rose up and down slowly while it rested against L's chest. I felt his hand move gently through my hair, doing so because he could tell I was awake. I sighed in content as I felt his hand stroke my head sweetly, and opened my eyes to look at my surroundings. I was still in L's bedroom, no doubt situated somewhere within the Kira investigation headquarters. The events of the previous day were still fresh, even in my drowsy mind. And I smiled as I let my hand run up L's chest, remembering the last thing he'd said to me yesterday.<p>

He'd told me he loved me.

We'd never said it to each other in the months we'd been together, although it had always felt slightly implied. But speaking it aloud had only made the bond between us feel all the more real.

I swiveled around, placing my head in L's lap, to face upward so I could look at him. He was smiling down at me tenderly as he continued to stroke my hair with his right hand, while his left lay casually on the armrest. I could tell he hadn't slept at all, but he must've spent the night sitting with his feet away from his chest, and the thought of that made me smile.

We'd spent the remainder of yesterday sitting with each other on L's rarely used couch, each of us enjoying the other's company. We hadn't spoken anymore, not having the need or the want after L's confessions yesterday. The thought of his pain still brought a sting to my eyes, and I raised my hand to grab his free one as it lazed on the armrest, stroking the back of it with my thumb.

"Good morning, L." I said slowly but kindly, still not used to calling him by a different name, and giving myself time to let it roll across my tongue.

"Good morning, Ami." He replied quietly as he leaned towards me, pulling me nearer to him as he did so. His lips met mine in a sweet manner, and I felt my free hand slide the rest of the way up his neck to relish in the silkiness of his hair, as his fingers slid up my neck. Our mouths moved in perfect synchronization, and I felt a fluttering sensation in my stomach as he played with my hair.

Our lips parted as I rose to sit normally on the couch, letting him replace his knees at his chest, as he preferred. I smiled at him as I intertwined my fingers with his. I let my eyes meet his, and saw that for once, they seemed relaxed, as if not one of his thoughts was occupied by anything other than what he could see right then and there. But there was something else lingering underneath his regard of relaxation, and what it was hit me like a ton of bricks.

Fear for his impending death.

I felt tears prickle at the corners of my eyes as I thought of how much our time together would be shortened because of Kira. No, because of Light Yagami. L was certain that Light was the mass murderer the world had come to praise and fear, and I believed him. But he was also certain, of what Light's next move would be. And I wished with all of my being that he would be wrong, just this once. Or that somehow, I could take his place. The world wouldn't descend into turmoil if I left it. But if L did…I shuddered at the thought of what would happen to the world. How quickly would it change without the mysterious detective being one step ahead of all of its enemies? What would happen if Kira were to win?

L noticed my distress, and guessed at its origin, squeezing my hand in his as he pulled me to him. I felt his lips on my hair as I rested my head against his shoulder, trying to be strong enough for him, trying not to cry at the fact that I would lose him soon.

"I'm sorry Ami." I heard him recite into my hair as his arms held me against him.

"For what? You haven't done anything. This is all because of Kira." I replied softly into his ear, letting my breath tickle him as it drifted by.

"No, I'm sorry for starting anything with you. I chose a life of solitude and seclusion because I knew the dangers of my job. I had no right to bring you into any of this, and I shouldn't have. I never knew how much pain I'd cause you, Ami." He said to me quietly, and I heard the pang of regret at the edge of his tone as he dropped his emotionless voice.

I pulled back from his hold and placed my hands on both sides of his face, forcefully connecting his eyes with mine.

"Don't be sorry L, even though I may not have as much time with you as I would've liked, I will never regret taking your hand that day. You haven't caused me any of this pain. That is credited to Kira; he's the one who's trying to take you away from me." I told him sternly, trying to dilute his allegations. Hoping he'd understand how much I loved him, wishing he'd understand that I didn't blame him for anything.

He placed his hand on one of mine, breathing deeply as he closed his eyes, "I still had no right, I'm grateful for you Ami, but you deserve better than me." He whispered silently, letting a huff of breath slide over my hand and his. He opened his eyes slowly, while intertwining his fingers with mine.

"You, L Lawliet, are the best thing that has ever happened to me." I said in a firm voice as I placed my lips on his, twisting my free hand slowly in his soft black hair as he wrapped his free hand around me, letting go of my hand with his other to caress my face. I heard a moan escape his throat as he moved his lips on mine, knowing that he felt he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't let things go any further with me, not when I'll lose him in two weeks. But I also knew that he wanted this. He was following his heart for once, instead of following his mind.

I let my mouth pull back from his as he opened his eyes to look at me tenderly.

"I love you Ami." He stated simply, touching his forehead to mine, looking at me deeply.

I felt a smile spread itself on my face, "I love you to L." I replied, brushing my lips on his.

I watched as his lips moved up into a smile, but saw that his eyes were still quite serious. He moved his hand towards mine, grasping it firmly and the couch.

"Ami, I need you to promise me something." He said, moving his thumb slowly back and forth on the top of my hand as he did.

I cocked my head to the side, slightly confused at the seriousness of his statement. I moved to ask what it was he wanted me to promise, but I saw the look in his eyes, pleading me to hear him out before I asked questions. I nodded, and looked at him quietly as he spoke.

"I want you to promise me that when I'm gone, you'll still be happy. Promise me that you'll move on, and give someone else the joy of your company and love like you did for me. Promise me you'll live your life like you would've had I not entered it, don't change because of me. Promise me…that you'll try to forget about me. I'm not worth remembering anyway." He said slowly revealing the true measure of the pain he felt daily, and I felt tears race silently down my cheeks.

How could he ask this of me? How could he expect me to forget about him when he was gone, to continue life as if he'd never shown up that day? I watched as his hand drifted slowly through the air, stopping when he came to my cheek. I felt his fingers as they moved down my skin, wiping away tears as new ones began to flow. His hand moved to my hair, slowly brushing a stray piece behind my ear as he pulled me to him once again, letting me cry quietly into him.

"You are worth remembering L, that's why I could never forget you. You changed my life for the better that day just by entering it. I couldn't go back to the way I was before, I don't want to. Not without you." I mumbled into his shirt, knowing he'd hear me. I turned my head around and lay my ear against his chest, and listened to the slow steady beat of his heart as he enveloped me tightly in his arms. I let my breathing harmonize with his as he held me close, moving his lips to my hair.

"No matter how much I wish for it, I can't change what's to come, I can only face it when it arrives. I just want you to be happy Ami. And if I'm no longer here, someone else will have to take my place." He admitted in a slow sad voice as he brushed his lips through my hair.

"No one could ever take your place." I whispered softly into his chest.

"Someone will have to, you've been alone for too long. I should know better than anyone that nothing good comes from a life of solitude." He replied, letting his fingers trace casually alone my spine. I breathed deeply as his hand moved across my back, drawing shapes by chance as his fingers moved with a mind of their own.

"I'm used to being alone, I don't mind it anymore. It's just something I grew accustomed to over the years." I stated defensively, curling the cloth of his shirt into my hands as I clenched them in protest to his allegations.

"But you deserve so much better than that Ami. A life where you can live the way you've always wanted to. A house in the suburbs where you can watch your children grow up," he turned his head away from me then, "a husband who can kiss you when you come home."

"But I don't want any of that, not if I can't have it with you. I'd rather a life of solitude than a married life with you gone." I responded truthfully, turning his head back to me.

He looked at me thoughtfully as he brushed his fingers through my hair, and closed my eyes as he did so. Even if we only had two weeks left together, we'd make the best of it, because for me, the memories of those weeks would last a lifetime.

I opened my eyes, and moved my forehead to touch his, staring deeply in his eyes, studying his features. Burning every detail of his appearance into my mind. I leaned forward slightly, and he met me in the middle, pressing his lips to mine in an explosion of electricity. I wanted to remember the way his lips felt on mine, the way my body would tingle whenever he held me. I wanted to remember how I felt around him, and how we didn't even need to speak when we were with each other those days in the coffee shop. I just wanted to remember him.

He pulled his mouth from mine, moving his hand to my chin to tilt my head up to his level. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he spoke softly to me.

"Then I suppose we'll just have to catch Kira before he tries to kill me. We might still have a chance to win, Ami." He whispered softly, and I sighed as I felt his breath slip over my face. He leaned forward and let his lips brush over mine sweetly, and quickly, before taking my hand and pulling me up from the couch.

"Where are we going?" I asked my tone full of curiosity as I squeezed his hand in mine.

"To the headquarters of the Kira investigation task force." he said as he walked me to the door, "We don't have much time, but we can still give this a try. I don't want to lose you, Ami, so I will try my hardest to win this fight."

He wrapped his free arm around my waist, pulling me to him in a loving manner as he leaned his head down to mine. I draped my arms around his neck, letting his hair fall over my fingers as he touched his lips to mine. He let go of my hand, and moved his to my neck, letting his fingers travel through the strands of my hair. I moved my lips with his, as he changed the placement of his hands, sliding one down my neck to lay causally at the small of my back. While his other hand moved to the door, twisting the knob slowly to give us passage to headquarters.

I pulled my lips from his, letting our foreheads touch as I saw the smile spread across his face. He opened the door the rest of the way, moving his arm to drape it around my waist as he led me to the door.

"Come on, it's time to introduce you to the task force." He said with a smile, letting his voice fall back to its habit of reciting his words. I followed him to the door, wondering how I could help him to defeat Kira, wondering how I could help save him.

I let him guide me through the door, and set off to meet the task force that also contained the greatest murderer of all time.

* * *

><p>About two weeks passed, and I stopped going to my classes altogether, quickly losing interest in my education to work with L on the case. I saw the death note with my own eyes, and touched it with just the tip of my finger to be able to see the shinigami, Rem. I jumped in surprise as she materialized in front of me for the first time, but eventually I grew accustomed to her presence, and stopped noticing when she exited or entered the room. I learned the rules of the notebook, and that a person would die of merely a heart attack if only their name was written inside. But my help didn't seem to achieve much, and before I knew it, it was November fourth, giving L and I only two days left together.<p>

We'd spent the day in the main room of headquarters with everyone else. I had tried to help L as best as I could, but even he was at loss as to what to do. It didn't help that Light was there, breathing down our necks as he encouraged us all to keep going, to continue with our search for Kira. I hoped and prayed with all my heart that we would find a way to beat Light Yagami at his twisted game. That I would be of some use in the end, even if that meant taking L's place in death. But if there was a god, he seemed to be ignoring my pleas.

L and I returned to his bedroom at the end of the day, him looking more exhausted than ever, as if he might actually sleep that night. I, on the other hand, was too worried to notice that bags had started to spread under my eyes over the past few days as I gave up on rest to stay by L's side and continue help him.

L and I moved slowly to his bed, while I tried to contain my disappointment at not being able to save him. I didn't know what else I could do but be with him in the final days we had together.

We sat down, ruffling the black comforter with our movements as we lay our head down on the pillows. I moved my hand towards his, lacing my fingers through his as I moved closer to him. He kissed the top of my head, breathing through my hair as I lay my head against his chest to listen to the beat of his heart. The rises and falls of our chests began to synchronize as I listened.

"I'm going to miss you." He murmured to me through the confines of my hair, and I felt tears sting at the corners of my eyes as he draped his arm over my waist. I moved my head back to look at him, wishing we could stay in this moment forever.

"I'm going to miss you to." I whispered, as I felt the tears break through the barrier I had tried to create, spilling themselves over my cheeks. L moved his hand to my face, wiping away my tears as he spoke softly to me.

"I wish I didn't have to leave you, I've never felt for anyone before as I do you." He breathed, letting his breath wash over my face while I tightened my grip on his hand.

I heard a small cry escape my throat, "Is there nothing we can do?"

"I wish there was something, but I think Kira will win this part of the battle. At least I can die in peace believing that he will lose in the end." He said to me, in his unusual way of speaking while he stared into my eyes. I looked back at him, watching as he moved his hand to my face again, to my chin this time, tilting it upwards as he kissed me, slowly and lovingly. I caressed his face with my free hand, moving upwards to twist my hand in his hair, as he pulled his lips back from mine. He moved them to my closed eyes, brushing them softly against my lids as I pressed my lips to his neck, while I felt the softness of his hair as it moved across my fingers.

He moved his mouth back to mine softly, and I let my lips match the movements of his, before pulling back and resting my head against his chest once again.

"I love you L." I whispered to him softly, while I moved my hand up his chest and closed my eyes.

'I love you to, Ami." He replied as he wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in contentment as I felt the pull of sleep take hold of me, dragging to its depths as if it had missed me over the past few days. I let one more thought create itself in my mind before I entered the land of dreams.

At least I had one more day with him, I thought drowsily.

* * *

><p>I awoke in the morning, and felt L's arms as the held true to their places from last night. L's breathing was deep and even, and as I looked up, I saw that his eyes were closed. He looked tranquil as he slept, and the peacefulness of the moment made me smile as I reached towards his face. He woke at my touch, and smiled at me as I let my fingers trail down his cheek.<p>

"You were sleeping." I said, letting my fingers continue their way down his neck until I laid my hand on his chest. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, not fully awake yet.

"It's not something I do very often, but everyone's brain needs rest, mine is just able to go longer without it than others." He explained, brushing my hair behind my ear as he looked at me. He leaned down, and brushed his lips over mine as he reached for my hand, pulling me out of the bed with him.

"I suppose we should go and join the others upstairs. They're probably wondering where we are." I said, as I laced my fingers through his.

He nodded, "But they can wait a minute longer." He said, as he adjusted his posture and kissed me fervently, letting his hands run up my back and into my hair. I kissed him back with enthusiasm, letting my hands trail their way up his chest and behind his neck as I did so.

He pulled back and smiled at me as he returned to his normal stance, taking my hand in his as he did so. I watched his hand as it moved to the door, turning the knob to give us access to the task force headquarters.

We headed down hallways that twisted and turned, to join the others in front of the large screen that displayed the footage from the cameras situated around the building. I nodded to the other members of the task force as they went about their work for the day, cringing slightly as I passed Light on my way.

L moved towards a swivel desk chair, pulling his legs to his chest as he sat down. I heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see Watari walking towards L with a tray in his hands. He stepped beside L, and placed a cup of coffee in front of him, along with a large bowl of sugar cubes. L thanked him, and Watari walked away without a word, disappearing to his office upstairs.

I sat down next to L and watched as he looked away in thought, mechanically placing cubes of sugar into his coffee. He stirred the hot beverage absentmindedly as he nibbled on his index finger's nail, sliding it between his teeth. I wondered what he was thinking so hard about, but he chose that moment to voice his thoughts, speaking aloud to the entire task force.

"I don't care what country, let's contact someone. There shouldn't be a problem if we're up-front about it." He said with as little emotion as he normally placed in his words. He was talking about the death note; he wanted to test it, to see if its powers were real. And it looks like he just came up with an idea at how to do it.

He went on to explain that he would have whatever country agreed, use the note book in an execution. Not only to test its powers of killing, but the thirteen day rule as well. I took his hand in mine, letting him know that I was okay with his idea, that I'd support him.

The other members of the task force however, did not seem to think the same way I did. Everyone but Light began shouting about how immoral it would be to use the death note to our advantage. I tightened my grip on L's hand as he listened to everybody's opinion. Seeing out the corner of my eye, as Rem slowly slid out of the room, pausing only to offer a nod in Light's direction. I narrowed my eyes and dropped L's hand, rising from my chair, heading in the direction of the room Rem must have entered.

I continued to listen to the bickering as I made my way slowly towards the door. But at the moment I was half way there, I felt a sharp pain in my chest, and I let out a scream.

"Ami, what's the matter?" L said, but his voice sounded too far away. I heard him rise from his chair and make his way over to me as I grabbed at my chest with my right hand.

I felt my knee's go weak, and began to fall to the floor, only to have L catch me on the way down. He pulled me into his lap, looking alarmed and brushed my hair out of my face. I tried to speak, but screamed in agony when I felt pain shoot up my left arm and I realized what was happening.

Rem had written my name down.

"No Ami, NO! Not you! Please, please not you! Ami! Look at me Ami, look at me, come on Ami look at me! Please Ami, please. No! No! AMI!" I heard L yell as he held me to him, and I tried to speak to him, but my words were choked off with another scream.

I closed my eyes, breathing rapidly as I thanked God for answering my pleas. Because that had to be what this was. There had to be a God, and he was giving me my wish. He was letting me take L's place, he was going to let L live. Kira would lose.

I felt a smile spread across my face, even in the midst of the pain.

L hugged me to his chest, "I love you Ami, I love you. Please, don't leave. Please Ami." He said, as he pressed his lips to my hair, rocking me back and forth in his lap.

I gasped in anguish as I felt the pain return at full blast, and I knew I didn't have much time left. I opened my eyes, and saw tears on L's face as he plead to me. I raised my right hand to his face, using some of my remaining energy to caress his cheek one last time.

"Ami…please, don't go." He said as he looked me desperately.

"I love you L." I said consuming the rest of my energy; as I felt the gloom of death reach its hand towards me.

L hugged me to his chest once more, "I love you to Ami." I heard him say to me, his voice rough from his tears. I breathed in the scent of his hair as I slowly closed my eyes, feeling a darkness envelope me.

At least, in the end, I saved him, I thought happily, as I breathed out one last time

* * *

><p><em><strong>Just wanted to say I'm sorry I didn't write anything about when Ami met the task force, I just didn;t think it would be important enough to the story. And I hope you don't mind that I kind of changed L personaltiy a bit, but his girlfriend was dying! I hope you guys agree with me that that is when he would have an emotional meltdown.<strong>_

_**Anyway, just one more chapter to go! Who can guess what will happen when this chapter is in L's point of view, since I can promise you, the next chapter doesn't end when Ami dies. There is still a bit more after that! :D**_


	9. Chapter 8

Her eyes remained closed when she woke up that morning, and I was all the more aware of her head rising and falling with the movements of my chest as she rested against me. Gently, and slowly, I moved my hand through her sleep ruffled hair, taking pleasure as the silky strands fell across my fingers. She sighed happily as I stroked her hair, making me smile slightly as she opened her eyes to look at her surroundings.

We were still in my bedroom, situated in an unused part of the task force headquarters. The events of yesterday were still fresh in my ever thinking mind, as I had been reliving every minute of them since Ami had fallen asleep, while I had stayed awake and held her. I still felt a sharp pain in my chest when I thought of her tears, her pain. But it would be lifted away as I remembered how she had held me close, even after everything I'd said, everything I'd done. I smiled as I felt her hand run up my chest, recalling the final thing she'd said to me yesterday.

She'd told me she loved me.

We had never said it to each other in the months we'd been together, though it had always felt somewhat implied. But speaking the words had only made the bond between her and I feel all the more real.

She swiveled around, placing her head in my lap so she could look up at me. I smiled down at her tenderly, continuing to stroke her hair with my right hand, while my left lay casually on the armrest. I had spent the night sitting on the couch as a normal person would have, and had found it very uncomfortable. But I hadn't been able to move, not wanting to wake her as she lay there in complete tranquility, a serene look spread across her face as her eyes moved rapidly behind her lids while she dreamt. She had looked so peaceful, so calm, and even the memory of it made me smile.

We'd spent the remainder of yesterday sitting on my rarely used couch, each of us enjoying the other's company. We hadn't spoken anymore, not having the want or the need after my confessions yesterday. The thought of her crying as I wiped my slate clean still made me struggle for breath. And she raised her hand to grab my free one as it lazed on the armrest, stroking the back of it with her thumb to calm me down.

"Good morning, L." she said in a slow, but kind voice. Not yet used to calling me by another name, but giving herself the time to try it out. Rolling it across her tongue like a fine wine she was trying to savor.

"Good morning, Ami." I replied quietly, leaning towards her, pulling her closer to me as I did so. My lips met hers in a sweet manner, and I felt her free hand slide the rest of the way up my neck, twisting her way through my hair, as my fingers trailed up her neck. Our mouths moved in perfect harmony, and I felt a familiar fluttering in my stomach as she played with my hair.

Our lips parted as she rose to sit normally on the couch, freeing me to replace my knees at my chest as I preferred. She smiled at me, intertwining her fingers with mine. She let her eyes meet mine, and I sensed that, for once, they seemed relaxed. As if my thoughts were only occupied by what was immediately in front of me, but I knew that wasn't true. There was a lingering emotion underneath my regard of relaxation.

Fear for my impending death.

I felt the hole in my chest throb at the thought of losing time with Ami because of Kira…no, because of Light Yagami. I was certain that he was Kira, certain that he was the mass murderer the world had come to fear, and love. But I could not prove it in any way that other's, besides Ami would believe. And the truth of Light Yagami's lies and deceit would die with me, in only a couple short weeks. I internally shuddered at the thought of what would happen to the world without me to protect it. What would happen if Kira were to deceive, not only me, but Mello and Near as well? What would happen if Kira were to win?

I looked down, and saw tears prickling at the corners of Ami's eyes, and I guessed at their origin, as I squeezed her hand, and pulled her to me. I pressed my lips to her hair as her head rested against my shoulder. She was trying to be strong for me, trying to hold back her tears as she thought of losing me. And I was trying to do the same.

"I'm sorry Ami." I recited into her hair as my arms held her against me.

"For what? You haven't done anything. This is all because of Kira." She replied softly into my ear, letting her breath tickle me as it drifted by. But I heard the stutter of tears at the end of her words, and the sound wrenched at my heart.

"No, I'm sorry for starting anything with you. I chose a life of solitude and seclusion because I knew the dangers of my job. I had no right to bring you into any of this, and I shouldn't have. I never knew how much pain I'd cause you, Ami." I said to her quietly, letting the pang of regret flood the end of my tone as I dropped my emotionless voice.

She pulled back from my hold and placed her hands on both sides of my face, forcefully connecting my eyes to hers.

"Don't be sorry L, even though I may not have as much time with you as I would've liked, I will never regret taking your hand that day. You haven't caused me any of this pain. That is credited to Kira; he's the one trying to take you away from me." She told me sternly, trying to dilute my allegations, but even her confidence in me had no effect on my emotions.

I placed my hand on one of hers, breathing deeply as I closed my eyes, "I still had no right, I'm grateful for you Ami, but you deserve better than me." I whispered silently, letting a huff of breath slide over our hands, as I opened my eyes slowly, and intertwined our fingers.

"You, L Lawliet, are the best thing that has ever happened to me." She said in a firm voice as she placed her lips on mine, twisting her free hand slowly in my hair as I wrapped my free arm around her, letting go of her hand to caress her face. I felt the smoothness of her skin as it slid across mine, and let a moan escape the back of my throat as I moved my lips on hers. I shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be letting things go any further with her, not when she'd lose me, and I her, in just two weeks. But I wanted this; I was following my heart at this moment, instead of following my mind.

She pulled her mouth from mine, and I felt my eyes open as I looked at her tenderly.

"I love you Ami." I stated simply, touching my forehead to hers, looking at her deeply.

I watched as a smile spread across her face, "I love you to L." she replied, brushing her lips on mine.

I moved my lips into a smile, but let my eyes stay serious. I moved my hand towards her, grasping it firmly on the couch as I prepared to ask her to make me a promise.

"Ami, I need you to promise me something." I said, moving my thumb slowly back and forth on the top of her hand as I did.

She cocked her head to the side, slightly confused at the seriousness of what I said. She moved to ask what is was I wanted, but I sent her a pleading look. I needed her to hear me out before she asked questions. She nodded, and looked at me quietly as I spoke.

"I want you to promise me that when I'm gone, you'll still be happy. Promise me that you'll move on, and give someone else the joy of your company and love like you did for me. Promise me you'll live your life like you would've had I not entered it, don't change because of me. Promise me…that you'll try to forget about me. I'm not worth remembering anyway." I said slowly, letting the true measure of my daily pain be revealed as I watched silent tears trail down her cheeks, wrenching at my heart with every drop.

She watched me as my hand drifted through the air, stopping when I reached her cheek. I felt her warm skin on mine as I slid my hand gently down, wiping away her tears as new ones began to flow. I moved my hand to her hair, brushing a stray piece behind her ear as I pulled her to me once again, letting her cry quietly as I held her against me.

"You are worth remembering L, that's why I could never forget you. You changed my life for the better that day just by entering it. I couldn't go back to the way I was before, I don't want to. Not without you." She mumbled into my shirt, knowing that I'd hear her. She turned her head around, and laid her ear against my chest, and listened to the slow, steady beat of my heart as I enveloped her tightly in my arms. She let her breathing harmonize with mine as I moved my lips to her hair, holding her close as I felt pinpoints of electricity race across my skin.

"No matter how much I wish for it, I can't change what's to come, I can only face it when it arrives. I just want you to be happy Ami. And if I'm no longer here, someone else will have to take my place." I admitted in a slow, sad voice as I brushed my lips across her hair. The statement was true, no matter how much it hurt to utter.

"No one could ever take your place." She whispered softly into my chest, making my heart flutter.

"Someone will have to, you've been alone for too long. I should know better than anyone that nothing good comes from a life of solitude." I replied, letting my fingers trace casually along her spine. She breathed in deeply as my hand moved across her back, drawing shapes by chance as my fingers moved with a mind of their own.

"I'm used to being alone, I don't mind it anymore. It's just something I grew accustomed to over the years." She stated defensively, curling the cloth of my shirt in her hands, clenching them into fists at my words.

"But you deserve so much better than that Ami. A life where you can live the way you've always wanted to. A house in the suburbs where you can watch your children grow up." I turned my head from her then, "A husband who can kiss you when you come home."

"But I don't want any of that, not if I can't have it with you. I'd rather a life of solitude than a married life with you gone." She responded truthfully, turning my head back to her.

I looked at her thoughtfully, brushing my fingers through her hair as she closed her eyes. She was so beautiful; I could no longer imagine life without her. Even if we only had two weeks left together, we'd make the best of it, because for me, the memories of those weeks would last an eternity.

She opened her eyes, and moved her forehead to touch mine, staring into my eyes deeply as she seemed to study me. She leaned forward slightly, and I met her in the middle, pressing my lips to hers in and explosion of electricity. I tried to burn every detail of her into my mind, the way her lips felt against mine, sweet and warm. The way she felt to me when I held her in my arms, how we didn't need words to communicate. I just wanted to remember her when I left, even if I wanted, with all of my soul, for her to forget me. I loved her.

I pulled my mouth from hers, moving my hand to her chin to tilt her head up to my level. She didn't want to leave me now, to forget me, and I had no right to make her. She wrapped her arms around me as I spoke to her softly, giving her what she wanted.

"Then I suppose we'll just have to catch Kira before he tries to kill me. We might still have a chance to win, Ami." I whispered quietly, and she sighed as I let my breath slide over her face. I leaned towards her, letting my lips brush over hers sweetly, and quickly, before taking her hand and pulling her from the couch.

"Where are we going?" she asked, her tone full of genuine curiosity as she squeezed my hand.

"To the headquarters of the Kira investigation task force." I said as I walked her to the door, "we don't have much time, but we can still give this a try. I don't want to lose you, Ami, so I will try my hardest to win this fight."

I wrapped my free arm around her waist, pulling her to me in a loving manner as I leaned my head down to hers. She draped her arm around my neck, twirling my hair in her fingers as I pressed my lips to hers once more. I let go of her hand, and moved it to her neck, letting my fingers travel through her hair.

She moved her lips with mine, as I changed the placement of my hands, sliding one down her neck to lay casually at the small her back. While my other hand moved to the door, twisting the knob slowly to give us passage to headquarters.

She pulled her lips from mine, letting our foreheads touch as a smile spread across my face. I opened the door the rest of the way, moving my arm to drape around her waist as I led her to the door.

"Come on, it's time to introduce you to the task force." I said with a smile, letting my voice fall back to its habit of reciting words. She followed me through the door, setting off to meet the task force that also contained the greatest murderer of all time.

* * *

><p>About two weeks passed, and Ami had stopped going to her classes altogether, quickly losing interest in her education to work with me on the case. She saw the death note with her own eyes, and touched it with just the tip of her finger to be able to see the shinigami, Rem. She had jumped in surprise as Rem materialized for the first time, but had eventually grew accustomed to the death god's presence, and had stopped noticing as she entered or exited a room. She learned the rules of the notebook, and that a person would die of merely a heart attack if only their name was written inside. She dedicated her time to studying everything we knew of the death note. But her help didn't get us any further, and before I knew it, it was November fourth, giving Ami and I only two days left together.<p>

We'd spent the day in the main room of headquarters with everyone else. Ami had tried to help me as best as she could, but even I was at loss as to what to do. It didn't help matters that Light was there, breathing down our necks as he encouraged us to keep going, to search for Kira. I wish I knew a way to prove that Light Yagami was Kira, a way to beat him at his own twisted game. But it seemed that I would die before I had the chance.

Ami and I returned to my bedroom at the end of the day, her looking far too worried to notice the bags that had begun to show under her eyes over the past few days. She had given up on sleep to stay by my side.

I on the other hand, had never felt more exhausted, and had a feeling that I might actually sleep that night.

Ami and I moved slowly to my bed, while I tried to contain my disappointment at not being able to save myself. At having to lose to Kira, and lose Ami in the process.

We sat down, ruffling the black comforter with our movements as we lay our heads down on the pillows. She moved her hand towards mine, lacing her fingers through mine as she moved closer to me. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair as she laid her head against my chest, listening to the beat of my heart. The rises and falls of our chests began to synchronize as she did.

"I'm going to miss you." I murmured through the confines of her hair, letting the emotionless tone of my voice drop as I draped my arm over her waist. She moved her head back to look at me, and I felt myself wishing we could stay in this moment forever.

"I'm going to miss you to." She whispered, and I saw the tears break through a barrier she had no doubt tried hard to create. I moved my hand to her face to wipe them away as I spoke gently to her.

"I wish I didn't have to leave you, I've never felt for anyone before as I do you." I breathed, as she tightened her grip on my hand.

I heard a small cry escape her throat, wrenching at my heart with every sound wave, "Is there nothing we can do?" she asked desperately.

"I wish there was something, but I think Kira will win this part of the battle. At least I can die in peace believing he will lose in the end." I said to her, in my unusual way of speaking as I thought of Mello and Near. Tomorrow I would choose which one of them will succeed me, tomorrow; Wammy's house would be informed.

I looked down into Ami's eyes, and she looked back at me as I moved my hand to her chin, tilting it upwards to kiss her slowly, and lovingly. She stroked my face with her free hand, moving upwards to travel her hand through my hair as I pulled my lips back from hers. I moved to her closed eyes, brushing my lips softly against her lids as she pressed her lips to my neck.

I moved my mouth back to hers softly, and she let her lips match the movements of mine, before pulling back and resting her head against my chest once more.

"I love you L." she whispered to me softly, letting her hand trail its way up my chest as she closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

"I love you to Ami." I replied as I wrapped my arms around her, giving into the weight of my heavy lids for the first time in a long time. I breathed in contentment as I held Ami against me, letting one final thought create itself in my mind as sleep grabbed hold of me like an old friend.

At least I had one more day with her.

* * *

><p>I woke to Ami's touch in the morning, feeling her smooth skin as it slid across my cheek, and I blinked in surprise as she smiled.<p>

"You were sleeping." She said, letting her fingers continue their way down my neck until her hand rested against my chest. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, still not fully awake, but I smiled as I felt the warmth of her skin descend into mine. Relishing in the joy of her skin on my skin.

"It's not something I do very often, but everyone's brain needs rest, mine is just able to go longer without it than others." I explained, brushing her hair behind her ears as I looked at her, loving the thought of her sleeping in my arms. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers as I reached for her hand, pulling her out of bed with me.

"I suppose we should go and join the others upstairs. They're probably wondering where we are." She said, as she laced her fingers through mine.

I nodded, "But they can wait a minute longer." I said, adjusting my posture and kissing her fervently, letting my hand run up her back and into her hair. She kissed me back with enthusiasm, trailing her hands up my neck as she did so. I breathed in her sweet smell, moving my mouth against hers avidly as I felt her all around me.

I pulled back, and smiled at her as I returned to my normal stance, taking her hand in mine while I reached for the door handle, turning it slightly to give us access to task force headquarters.

I led Ami down hallways that twisted and turned, to join the others in front of the large screen that displayed footage from the cameras situated around the building. My eyes flickered to the corner where Watari's office was broadcasted and saw that his chair was empty, no doubt getting coffee for me. I would miss Watari as well when I was gone, he had been like a father to me over the years.

I felt Ami flinch when we passed Light as I made my way to the swivel desk chair that I always chose to sit in. Pulling my legs up to my chest as I sat down, I paid little attention to the footsteps coming towards me. Merely thanking Watari as he placed a cup of coffee on front of me along with a large bowl of sugar cubes. He walked away without a word as I stared off in thought, mechanically placing sugar in my cup, and stirring it absentmindedly as an idea occurred to me.

"I don't care what country it is, let's contact someone. There shouldn't be a problem f we're upfront about it." I said with as little emotion as I normally place in my words. I was talking about the death note of course, needing to test it powers and the legitimacy of the thirteen day rule.

I went on to explain that I would have whatever country agreed, use the note book in an execution. I felt Ami squeeze my hand, letting me know she'd support me, and that she was okay with the idea. The other members of the task force however, did not think the same way Ami did. Everyone but Light began shouting about how immoral it would be to do such a thing, but I tuned them out, asking Watari to get a country that would agree to this on the phone as I began to think of other things.

Mello, or Near. That's what today would really come down to. My death would come in the way of my experiment, but I'm sure both of them would be able to use the data it created to their advantage.

But choosing one of them would be difficult. They both excelled in their studies, and finished any task given to them almost as quick as I had at their age. But this wasn't a question of intelligence, not entirely. They needed to be able to think like me, to act like me, able to hide their emotions, to make it look like any horror they witnessed didn't faze them. I knew that I had to make a choice today, and I believe I choose…

I lost my train of thought all of sudden, upon hearing Ami scream in pain. "Ami, what's the matter?" I asked her, but she didn't answer.

I turned my head around, and saw her clutching at her chest, struggling for breath as she gasped.

I jumped from my seat, and caught Ami just as she fell to the ground, pulling her into my lap as I looked at her alarmed, brushing her hair out of her face. She tried to speak, but screamed in agony at a hurt I couldn't see. My eyes scanned the room quickly for the shinigami, Rem, but couldn't see her anywhere. My eyes widened in horror as understanding hit me like a ton of bricks.

Rem had written her name down.

"No Ami, NO! Not you! Please, please not you! Ami! Look at me Ami, look at me, come on Ami look at me! Please Ami, please. No! No! AMI!" I screamed, losing my hold on my emotions, letting them control my actions for the first time in my life. I couldn't understand, I hadn't seen this coming. I felt tears stream down my face as I held Ami, and felt a wrench at my heart as her words were choked off by another scream.

She closed her eyes, breathing rapidly as the death notes' power began to take her from me. I couldn't hear the screams of the task force members, couldn't see them as they tried to console me, to take me away from her. All I could see was her, and I hugged her to my chest, not able to think of a way to save her.

"I love you Ami, I love you. Please don't leave. Please Ami." I cried urgently, pressing my lips to her hair as I rocked her back and forth.

She gasped in anguish, and opened her eyes, even in the midst of the pain she must have felt. She raised her trembling right hand to me slowly, running it across my cheek as she looked into my eyes.

"Ami…please, don't go." I said, looking at her desperately. I couldn't lose her, not like this. This was my fault; I had brought her into my life, into the middle of all this danger. I had known the risk, and had gone against my better judgment. If there was a God, he was punishing me for bringing her into this peril; he was making me watch as she died in my arms, delivering me a comeuppance I had earned during the span of many years. This was my fault.

"I love you L." she said, consuming the last of her energy as death reached forward and took her from me. I watched as her eyes closed slowly, until finally, her hand fell limply from my cheek.

And then she was gone.

I held her to me, unable to let her go. Why? Why did this have to happen? Had I truly deserved this? Had everything I allowed to happen finally come back to me, delivering me a sentence by taking Ami from me so cruelly? This wasn't fair, Ami had done nothing. Why did God have to drag her into my punishment, why did he have the shinigami write down her name.

The shinigami.

I laid Ami down gently, raising myself from the ground to scan the room I was standing in.

"Where are you shinigami? Show yourself you coward! You did this, and I swear to god I'll make you pay! She did nothing! She was innocent! Where are you shinigami? SHINIGAMI!" I screamed, losing myself entirely in my rage as I searched for the shinigami, Rem. The rest of my cries were unintelligible shrieks of pain, I uttered as I pulled at my hair with my clenched hands.

The task force was standing around the room, speechless as I screamed, not knowing what to do when the famous L Lawliet finally lost control. My final scream ended in a small squeak as tears continued to flow while my eyes flicked the computer screen, and my horrors seemed to grow worse.

Watari was struggling to reach for a small button on the back of his keyboard, pushing with the last of his strength before he fell to the ground by his chair. All of the screens around the room suddenly went white, reading only one phrase.

All data deletion.

"Watari?" I asked frantically. Not Watari, how did I deserve this? Why did innocents have to play a role in my penance? First Ami was taken from me, and I was made to watch her as she died. Then Watari. I couldn't handle it, this was too much, not even I could…

No. I had to compose myself. Ami and Watari would have wanted me to be myself, I couldn't let my emotions take over. I had to stay me, as abnormal as ever. I had to take command, and defeat and take as much evil down with me when I died, that was my duty. I returned to my chair, pulling my legs to my chest as I sat down.

"All data deletion…what does that mean?" I heard Light ask innocently. I felt my anger boil at his words, but bit down on it as I answered his question slowly.

"I instructed Watari to delete all the information he currently held if anything should happen to him." I explained quietly, turning my head to stare at Ami's lifeless body as it lay silently on the floor. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes, and I looked away quickly.

The task force members began to panic, but I tuned them out. In mere minutes, I had lost everything that ever mattered to me. And it was all my fault. I was paying for my crimes.

"Where is the shinigami?" I heard Soichiro ask. I blinked slowly, speaking quietly as I answered his question.

"Everyone, the shinigami is…." I gasped as I felt a sharp pain rip across my chest, pairing with the flashes shooting up my left arm as I began to fall to the floor. I felt arms catch me, and heard the chair roll across the floor as I stared up at the face of my catcher.

Light Yagami.

He was staring down at me with a glint of achievement in his eyes. He believed that he had won. I wanted to tell him about Mello and Near. Let my last breath be a promise of his failure. I may have lost this battle, but they would continue the war in my place. They would succeed where I had failed, that is why they were created, they were meant to be my heirs, my successors.

But I didn't want my final breath to contain a secret that could shift the strings of fate. I would prefer Light Yagami to be surprised to see that there is yet another obstacle after me. The L arc may be ending, but the Mello and Near arc was about to begin.

I felt my eyes close slowly, and was aware of death reaching towards me. With the final beat of my heart I let my last word ring through the air, to be heard by no one as my eyes closed firmly.

"Ami." I breathed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>And there it is. I know it was kind of anti-climactic in the end, but I didn't want it to end in a bang. I wanted it to have a quiet finale. I hope you guys liked it, rate and review please! apologize for how L sort of let himself go here, but I had to make it so that the famous L Lawliet finally lost his nerve, couldn't help myself. :D<strong>_

_**Thank you to everyone who has been reading from the beginning, and to the newcomers, who come after it's done thanks to you as well! Love you guys! And Goodnight! 3**_


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